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Friday, November 19

forgive my whining and groaning


about the dmv, and flunking the tests.


oh, please forgive. today, i walked in,


went straight to the counter, no studying.


and passed. hands down.




forgive someone you know you have


a grudge against. make the real power


of the glorious Cross worth what Jesus did.




forgive your children. human and struggling


and losing their ways and trying to find themselves


maybe in all the wrong ways. without forgiving, you


cannot genuinely listen and love and be creative


in how you express their beauty and value to you.




and...


forgive yourselves.


i am ruthless with myself.


my failures and flaws are lined up,


side by side, stamped on the walls


of my closets and hidden places of


my heart.




a dear friend


told me the other night that


she covers for me when certain


people at the church are always


critical and judgemental of me.




why tell me that?


now i know i have all these people


who have negative opinions about me.


i slip into the service.


sit wherever there's a chair.


smile and greet a few people as i leave,


i have a few great friends there, but not


alot. why do people have negative opinions


of me? i don't vie for attention. make a scene.


it's so hard to have perspective with this.




i love that old song that pleads for sinners.


"just as I am,


without one plea...


but that thy Blood was shed for me...


oh, Lamb of God, i come. i come.




just as i am,


and waiting not


to rid my soul of one dark blot...to Thee


whose Blood can cleanse each spot...


oh, Lamb of God, i come."




when things get muddy


in our brains, and some things


run together and scramble our


perspective, know that deliverance


most often comes through forgiveness.




drawing so much strength from all


of you who love me and send me beautiful


words...love, ann


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