are you feeling weary..

"i feel like traveling on.
the Lord has been so good
to me...i feel like traveling on..."

"are you feeling weary,
heavy-laden. tell it to Jesus.
tell it to Jesus...."

i had a stalwart, dead-center
Christian. someone millions
have looked up to. he was on
the phone. wondering how the
battle was going with me. my
friend? he was plain tired of the
fight.

have we forgotten
that God delivers
us from the paws of
the lions?!

fellow warriors,
run for the victory that
overcomes the world.
let the tears flow. let the
rocks and gravel knock us
to the ground ..... but get
up. grab an outstretched
hand. balance back on your
feet. and never be deterred
by the difficulties. we are running
to win. at any cost.

thank you for all the prayers
for jan and me. they mean
everything to us. have a holy
Sabbath. amen.

"it's a beautiful day in the
neighborhood..."

remember mr. rogers?
taylor and brock LOVED
the familiar routine of his
taking off his sweater,
and hanging it in the closet.
children need consistency.

"good morning, Jesus!"
no matter how i feel when
i open my eyes every morning,
i LOVE Jesus. He's been my
Comrade all my life. i've laughed
with Him. sobbed. and i've
always been thankful for another
day of life.

"why my soul art thou downcast?
why so disturbed within me? put
your hope in God. for i will yet
praise Him. my Savior and my
God." psalm 42:11

I have one son who is living
with a girl. one out of four.
oh, he is truly brilliant and
incredible...and my heart is
so tightly squeezed around
him in love. he makes me so
proud. his heart marches to
a rhythm of trust in Jesus.

"but this is about love, mom.
real, honest to goodness love."

i love him madly.
i know he is young.

"see that young man over there?
that's my son. i'm the richest
lady in the world. i get to be
his mom. nothing can altar my
love."

again, prayer is my weapon.
as a mother, i cry out. and i
don't harass my children. i
taught them the love and laws
of God for many years. i
continue to believe Jesus can
lead my sons to truth. that un-
conditional love wins.

have a beautiful week-end.
look for the poor and broken.
remember..except for the grace
of God...there we are headed.
i love you....all.

jan.
my identical twin.
shared the womb together.
one. before air and laughter
and camaraderie; before
utter love and souls intertwined.

yesterday .. the news that pinched
my shaky core. .sent
chills down my spine.

i have run straight to jan
in my most traumatized
moments.and wrapped my
soul around hers.

she is like my sons.
my morning sky and afternoon
sun and every evening, setting
sunset.

i open my hands fully.
telling Jesus jan is ALL HIS.
He can take or leave.
because we are His.
forever.
living of dying.

i hate cancer,
but i love jan,
and i must trust God.
to the end.

brock called.

"hi, mom.  just calling to see

how you are."

"well, darling, i have been

thanking God for my struggles.

you know. my feet especially.

i just know Jesus honors praise."

"mom, you know i've been in

training at bank of america.  i'm

now going to be a manager over

the managers. this job isn't challenging at all, mom."

"brock, i've been compelled to 

pray recently about your work.

honey, i want your life to count

for Jesus.  i want the world to be

better because you are in it."

"you are brilliant, brock.  there

is nothing you can't do...."

"i know, mom...but i keep this job 

because i have band practice at

night."

brock has always felt called to

play in a band.  "mom, there

are so many mixed-up kids

that go to concerts."

i'm nodding my head on the

other end of the phone.  praying .

"mom, i get your thoughts.

it seems i'm not helping anyone.

this morning, coming out of

the grocery store, i saw a homeless

man, and handed him $40."

"that makes me so happy, brock.

a lady is here helping me clean.

she puts aside a little money

every week,  she told me,  just

to share it with broken people

she passes."

"yeah, that's what i try to do, too."

"her son gets upset because he

believes these people just go

and get alcohol and drugs...but

you know what she told him?"

"it's none of my business. i give

because there go I but for the

grace of God!!"

"brilliant, huh?!"

"well, honey, just keep talking

to Jesus about your future....."

"i will, mom.."

"brock...you aren't wearing those

earrings that stretch your earlobes

out, are you?"

he burst into laughter.

"no, mom.  i got my ears pierced,

but not for those.  but you know

i  am hoping to get a tattoo next

month if i can afford it.  

mom, i've been wanting

one since i was 19, and i am just

turning 28."

"i know, doll.  i've been preparing myself all these years

for this to happen.  you've waited  a long time."

i was entirely too afraid and

nervous  to ask if kristi, his girlfriend, had any new tattoos.

every time i see her, there are

additional ones.

colson has a new job.

his bike is fixed, and he callled

en route home one evening.

i could hear horns blasting.

colson said a few choice words

 to a couple drivers.

i just closed  my eyes and prayed.

it will take all of God's vast

mercy and grace...and all our

"crying-out" prayers to help our

children make it in this dark,

perverse world.

as parents who long for depth

in their children's spirituality...

as wayfarers sludging through

the mud of despair...

.

"get away with Me and you'll

recover your life.  I'll show you how to take a real rest.. 

walk with Me and work with Me...watch how I do it. 

learn the unforced rhythms

of grace (a blog reader introduced me to .this passage).  

keep company with Me, and you'll

learn to live freely and lightly."

matthew 11:28-30

pray for me.

i'm getting addicted to gummy

bears. pure sugar!

i love you all!

sitting around the big table

in the co-dependent group of

celebrate recovery.  two new

women.  i was so moved by the

"stuff" verbally unloaded and

revealed.  each confession popped with such wounded vulnerability.

"are you weary? are you heavy-

hearted?  tell it to Jesus.  tell it

to Jesus...."(old hymn)

well,

tonight i am.

i hurt someone's feelings,

unintentionally, last night.  i

fell through my front door.

sobbing uncontrollably.  crying

out to Jesus.  oh, Jesus is my

Husband.  dearer than anyone

and all else in the world.

and then,

there are my feet..

they hurt so much, and my

long, skinny legs yearn to run

again.

i have my one, dear friend

who tries to keep me on the

straight and narrow....and i do 

so long to be all for Jesus, but

it's hard to see worth in myself.

so.

now i've confessed to you.

i want you to know that inspite

of my struggles, Jesus shows

me every day, that He really loves

me.  are you watching?  He's

showing you, too.

"isn't He wonderful?

wonderful. wonderful.

isn't Jesus, my Lord, wonderful.

eyes have seen.

ears have heard.

it's recorded in God's Word...

isn't Jesus, my Lord, wonderful!!"

(long-ago chorus)

today, i headed to the dry

cleaners.  right there, in front of

me, stood little veronica. my

korean friend.  she ran to me.  i

threw my arms around her.

kissed and kissed her cheeks.

as she did mine.

" you getting too skinny!"

and she hugged me.

"oooh, i love way you dress!

your style!"

and i thanked her.

and pointed to my feet.

one with an ugly, surgery shoe

on it.  the other with a cute

sandal, but an ace bandage

intertwined around my ankle and

foot.

she put a sad look on her face.

"i sorry. but i miss you so..."

"veronica,

i love you..and i pray for you...

and God smiles on you...and.."

our eyes shining with tears.

"the greatest thing in all my life

is serving You.  the greatest thing

in all my life is serving You.  i

want to serve You more. i want

to love You more...the greatest

thing in all my life is serving You."

taste the love of Jesus today.

be joyful in the glorious adventure

of loving others to Him.  i know

nothing more thrilling.  to

touch a heart, and see Jesus.

the best. the greatest.

in all the world.

this is one of my favorite

passages in the Bible:

"enter...you who are blessed by

my Father:

I was hungry and you fed Me.

I was thirsty and you gave Me   

    a drink.

I was homeless and you gave Me

     a room.

I was shivering and you gave Me

    clothes.

I was sick and you stopped to visit.

I was in prison and you came to

    Me." 

"Master, what are You talking

about?....."whenever you did one of

these things to someone overlooked

or ignored, that was Me....you

did it to Me."    matthew 25

watch today.

while you are shopping.

when you run in to get a cold

drink somewhere.

people..teeming ...

with needs.  the wounded.

"masses yearning to be free..."

there is a Savior.

and we are His hands and

eyes and heart.  He is ALL

about love.  so we must be.

i am out to change my world.

please join  me.

you and Jesus and i and love.

great news!!

brandt and jasmine were

able to get the apartment they

wanted.  a dear friend came

up with a brilliant idea, and

management went for it.

i miss them.

my little doll-baby, colben.

debra, a blog friend, allowed

brandt to stay with her and

her husband until the apartment

situation was resolved.

it meant so much!!

a year ago,

almost to this day,

there was a cookout next door.

i was invited..and met a

friend's handsome, twenty-plus

year old son.  we visited.  he

opened his heart to me.  very

touching.

i walked back to my little  

house.  hot. filled with good

food.  and as i shut the front

door behind me, i suddenly felt

i had to return to this young man

and tell him something.  like.a compelling force...God Himself...

guiding me.  telling me what i

must say.

fussing with 

God for a few moments....

this kid and i had already had

a long talk, and it seemed a little

foolish to return to the party after

i'd  given my good-byes.  i

spun around. opened  the door..

before i could talk myself out of

hearing God's voice.

"jason, Jesus spoke to me.

brought me back to you.  He

told me if you would completely

surrender your life to Him, He

will give you the desires of your

heart."

my eyes were damp with tears.

piercing earnestness met by

the same in his face.

"don't forget this, jason.

come by and i'll lead you to

Him.  the Lord."

tonight, i was invited to dinner

next door.  almost an exact year

later.  only six of us. jason was one of the six.   suddenly, 

in front of everyone, i reminded

him of that conversation.  he

countered with  things said that

i'd forgotten.   he said he would

be by this wednesday.  a serious,

gentle look on his face.

"come unto Me all ye who labor

and are heavy-laden..and I will

give you rest..."

rest.

quiet.

all anxiety and burdens

laid in the dust of our own

agitation.  and we crawl into

the safe lap of God.  free.

free at last.  please pray!