"God's voice is glorious in

the thunder.  we can't even imagine

the thrill of His power."  job 37:5

tonight, my hope is built

on Jesus.  jan has pneumonia.

one of my sons is broke

i got a letter from the irs.

tonight  is celebrate recovery.

last  week, i couldn't even raise

my head.   the entire time i

shared, i said things like,

"I don't want to be here. i don't

like it. I don't want to go on

living."

that night i thought i'd lost

jan....and didn't  want to go on.

these words are so grim, i know.

my foot?!!!!  what am i going  to

do?!  orthopedists and a podiatrist

think so differently.  i'm terrified.

God says:

"count yourself lucky.

how happy you must be.

you get a fresh start.

your slate's wiped clean."  psalm  32

there are days 

when some of us

just walk.  

one foot in front of the

other.  one moment at a time.

the rains come

and the storms pummel

us.   all we need is the hem

of Jesus...and the refusal to

stop.  that's what you do

in a race .

run!

don't look back.

KNOW the God of the

universe has NEVER failed.

trust me, i'm right beside you.

thank you again for all your

comments. each one. i trace

the love and

beauty of your words....

and tuck them in my heart 

forever.

the sunday message

was delivered by a pastor

from israel.  "do you REALLY

want to change?"

there are prayers that scare me.

"Jesus, humble me."

"Lord, change, at any cost,

what doesn't please You in me."

"Jesus, take away or put into

 my life anything You desire."

i went forward at close of

service.  "don't return to your

seats until you know God has

changed  you."

"bless the Lord, oh, my soul...

oh my soul. worship

His Holy Name. sing like

never before, oh my soul.

i'll worship His Holy Name."

10 000 reasons

just ask Jesus today

if there is anything He wants to

change in you to make you

a more true warrior for Him

let's be bold.

all of us.

and see

what  kind of

army Jesus has in 

mind.

may this be the start

of a life-changing week

for all of us.

"Jesus is all the world to me.

my life. my joy. my all.

He is my friend from

day to day...without Him i

would fall...."

i just called jan to say

"good night".  a week ago

today, a medical team of 12

were trying to resuscitate her,

and get the large pieces of

meat out of her lungs.

crying out to the Warrior

Divine...and then to you,

all the soldiers of the Cross

who run this glorious, difficult.

Race with me.  you were armed

and ready...and your praying

was heard by the master

Redeemer.  there is no question,

with my family that YOUR

prayers were the key.

i took my friend, sarah, to

chevron tonight.  a celebra-

tion for one more week with jan.

it was a little humorous, we

combed the aisles.  two sodas.

the bakery shelf  for little,

crumb donuts....and  an ice

cream bar.  when i' m with

someone who loves and

trusts me,  i know God

 has stitched the world

together perfectly.  it can

be very lonely when the world

is closing in....and  you truly

feel all by yourself.  BUT....

if you are in a big, overwhelming

struggle, and you don't know what 

to do, be silent. still. Jesus

is whispering,  "but I do!"

He always has the answers.

please  never forget. life is unbearable without this  truth.

for all
whose prayers
seem to be hanging in the
wind.  for every one who has
a rebellious, lost child...or
one who hasn't been delivered
of some level of disability.   for
the marriages that are cracked
at the seams and so hurtful......

"take a good look at my Servant.
I've bathed Him with My Spirit, My
life. He'll set everything right.
He won't brush aside the bruised
and the hurt...and He won't
disregard the small and insignificant. He'll steadily
and firmly set things right.."
isaiah 42

God did these incredible
miracles for jan....yet i can tell
you i have almost felt hell
hanging on my back since.
life has turned upside down
in so many areas. the enemy
is a smooth one. great victories
often followed by bent inequalities.

"we need a Savior.
we need an Anchor.
be very sure. be very sure.
your Anchor holds...
and grips the Solid Rock."

ourRock?
Jesus.
the ONLY One.

much to say.
to share.
lost yesterday's
blog.
let's continue
to pray for one
another.
for the sun to rise..
and warm our faces and
broken spirits....and take
every wound. laying
them on the ground.
allowing the heat of God's
compassion to burn off
every piece still twisted
by anger or fear or sadness.

all my love to each
of you today.
ann

.

what is that quote...

"victory is won on the mountain,

but realized in  the valley."

today,

jan had two visiting 

physicians.  both had been

in emergency when they brought

her in. unconscious. not breathing.

each wanted to meet the woman

who had miraculously beaten the

odds and lived. with no brain damage.  the same night, they had

lost a thirty - yr. old under the same

circumstances.  one spared. one

taken.

for me,

one difference.

jan had an army of warriors.  YOU!!!

prepared.  faithful. on call.  and

tonight, jan's nurse lined up chairs

along the wall with plenty of' pillows

and blankets, and i'm keeping vigil

by her bed. hopefully, i don't fall off

my 13"-wide bed.

this morning,

i was so overcome

by God's vast array

of grace and goodness...

by your battle readiness.

still shaken by what we thought

the worst could be...

that i cried out to Jesus.

to change me forever.

my friend and i planted

geraniums...and i made some

fresh vows to never be a petty

person any more....and to give

my life away for the poor and

broken in ways not done before.

"let the beauty of Jesus.be seen in me...

all His wonderful passion

and purity. oh, Thou Spirit divine,

fill this being of mine...'til the beauty

of Jesus be seen in me."

thank you.

everyone.

for all your prayers

and concern.

there was no make-up on 

today,  tears streaked my

face...and my nose ran.

abounding gratitude.

"hallelujah! hallelujah! hallelujah!

He is higher than we ever

could imagine...and closer

than our eyes could ever see...

He is magnificent....He alone

is holy...no one else as glorious

as He...."  10,000 reasons

jan is off the ventilator.

no brain damage.

they were able to suck

out all the food in her lungs.

one of you wrote:  warriors

enlisted.  praying.  oh, fellow

warriors, because of you, i

have seen a miracle.

it's 5am.

i'm still crying.

i sat on the edge of Jan's bed

in icu.  i read her every one of

your comments.  speaking your

names as i went. tears rolling

down my cheeks.

tom and i headed to the

hospital.  sobered with every

terror possible bubbling in our

thoughts.  jan. our jan.  a complete

vegetable?  i refused to cry.

reserving all emotion; gathering

strength to hold me upright in

prospect of the worst.

so many of you have heard

the worst.  lived through the

darkest.  please never believe

my struggles are more significant than

yours.   my black shadows

only draw me closer to you.

you must all know 

that jan and i have had our

petty struggles. our insecurities. with each other.

but everything in my life

was forever changed july 20-21.

whatever jan wants,

i want.  whatever she thinks,

i want to listen.  the hurtful

moments will always carry a

different hue of meaning.  to

see her on the ventilator,  her

face swollen and bruised.  i

am forever transformed by

the wonderful grace of Jesus.

her first words off the

ventilator were:

"lordy. lordy...i have to go

home today."  smile.

thank you.

every one.

beyond words.

"...may you have strength

to comprehend with all the

saints...what is the

breadth and length and height

and depth..

and to know the love of Christ

that surpasses knowledge..

that you may be filled with

all the fullness of God..."ephesians 3

we are not empty.

not alone.

ever.

thanks, warriors.

enlisted and ready.

thank you so!!!!

a piece of meat lodged

in jan's throat. unconscious

for 7-10 minutes while tom

raced her to closest hospital.

food in lungs.

possible brain damage.

weeping. jan in icu. i was out

of town.  so scared. darkest

moment of my life.  10-12 minutes to

resuscitate her. ventilator.

the massive unknowns.

called my neighbor. her

husband is out of town.

we crawled in bed.  i held her

hand.  snuggled close.

children of  the Great I Am.   

how much better? cling to Him.

just running. weeping. trying to

keep the praise going.

fell flat on face. guest bedroom.

praising Him. my spirit dancing.
victory is my war cry. 
victory is my song.
please keep

praying. so gratefully. love, ann