ann kiemel

i sinned yesterday.

and probably will before today is over.

my friend arises very early to pray, and....

first, she praises God.  then confesses yesterday's sins.

 

so here i am.  confessing to you that

i seem to keep sinning in word, thought, or deed.

over and over and over.

i run to Jesus.  i don't usually

wait until tomorrow morning.

so anxious to be back in perfect

communion with the Lord.

 

there were many things i had to accomplish

yesterday.  the bank.  the dry cleaners (mainly to hug

my korean friend). getting my hair high-lighted.  do another

blog, etc.  my friend, who is a pill addict, kept calling me

and totally forgetting that she had done it ten minutes ago.

and would start talking nonsense that i couldn't even understand.

finally, i lost it.

 

"what  have you taken?

i hate when we can't really talk.

i never know if you are going to be

on or off re: your pills.  you can sound

so good and energized and normal for two or

three days, and then, out of nowhere, you crash

back into the flooded confusions, and i,

somehow, crash with you."

 

"and  i get so frustrated!!"

 

then, God started reminding me of ALL the times,

when i was using, and didn't make sense, i'm sure,

to others who called me.  and ended up so frustrated

over me.  i'm amazed friends stuck with me.  where was

my humility and compassion?!

 

i call my friend, and i humbly ask her to forgive me.

confessing my own failures in the past when my addiction

was in full-swing.  i tell my friend HOW much i love her.

and we start mending the bridge where it has been

compromised between us.  over and over and over again.

 

confession is good for the soul, Jesus says.

if God brings something to mind, you, too, can run

and make peace.  the sun will shine again. the

choirs will start singing.  you will hear the swell

of voices who have also been delivered again and

again and again. 

 

yesterday, i sinned.

please, Lord, make my heart right

with You.