ann kiemel

cont. of blog...

 

i began to stumble around.

lost my bearings in the heat!

began to pray.  to look for a house.

there were at least 7 houses on the

ranch.

 

what was wrong with will?

didn't he remember i had no liquid to

drink. not a nibble of shade anywhere for

miles.  and then, in the far distance, i

thought i saw a house.  wasn't sure. so

far away.  hoped it wasn't in my imagination

and desperation.

 

but the horizon focused more and more on

something ahead of me.  a log cabin!!  i ran,

half sobbing.  half delirius.  pounding on the

door.  praying...pleading that someone was

inside.

 

a very nice latino woman opened the door.

i told her i was will's (her husband's boss) wife.

was there any way she could try to get ahold

of him?  she brought me a glass of water, and

suddenly, i saw will riding up in that haywire

pick-up.  laughing.

 

"hi, honey......did you have a good run?"

"you mean the two-plus hours out in the fields

where you were going to come get me in 45 min.

to an hour?"

 

he thought it was all in great fun. the reality

was .... he got busy checking on all his crews,

and 'shooting the breeze', and just put me out of

his mind.  it was a dangerous thing to do re: the

elements and no water, but once again, he got me

to laugh.  to think it was an adventure.  i just silently

vowed to never go along with this idea again, and life

went on.

 

for many years, this kind of thing was just life for

the children and me.  always off-balance.  never sure

what the next offense would be.  i can tell you that we

struggled for years.  where will failed, i did, in another way.

a sick, co-dependant, i just couldn't stand up for myself.

and i was losing pregnancies.  getting abdominal infections.

taking pain pills.  something i had NEVER done in my

life. 

 

but, in the end. all of us broken and hurting,

will and i were faithful to our vows before God in

our marriage, and before will died...the last five days...we

were touched by God.  will finally saw himself.  genuinely

asked forgiveness for all the years, and held the boys' hands,

and talked to them in a way he never had before.  yes, i

truly believe he deeply loved us, but everything was lost

in the translation because it was somehow missing.

maybe between him and his father.

 

God has a powerful way of reaping joy out of

sorrow, and promise out of seeming  hopelessness.

neither will or i were really ready to marry each other.

but all the wrong turns and twisting bends in the road

were redeemed.  something the Lord is a pro at.

maybe your stories didn't turn out like ours.  maybe

your marriage didn't make it.  it's okay.  Jesus mercifully

covers us all, and works good in EVERYTHING if we

let Him.