ann kiemel

have you ever been to a beautiful function
and not felt sure of yourself? do you feel,
deep inside, that somehow you are inadequate
and missing something? that you're not enough?

i do. i have spoken to thousands at a time. often.
but i'm extremely shy in a smaller group. it is all about
me. my core that has to keep stretching and pushing
the insecurities away. i have to remember life is NOT
all about me. that i need to smile and be quiet and accept
the fact that no one seems very interested or impressed
with me. all my life i have yearned for significance.
been terrified of rejection. tonight was one of those
nights again. maybe i will always have to set myself
straight...and talk fear and uncertainty away in very
clear and stern words.

some people seem to have no fears.
flawless in their self-perceptions. i just
have never been there. externals NEVER
make us enough because if we are not
enough without grand successes then we
will never be enough with them. just
thinking that maybe some of you are
struggling in this area, too.

Jesus stands.
straight and strong and
with an ARM that is NEVER too short.
in our most uncertain moments, Jesus
loves us and sees us as beautiful and complete.

ring the church bells. begin a chorus. stare
fear and uncertainty in the face. and run the Race.
help someone up. pat them on their shoulders.
look someone in the eye every day, and make them
run stronger and believe harder because there is
so much love in your eyes that they can see your soul
and know you walk with the angels and swim against
the tide and level every mountain. and so can they.

i love this old hymn:
"pass me not, oh gentle Savior.
hear my humble cry. while on
others Thou art calling, do not pass
me by.......Jesus, Jesus, hear my
humble cry. while on others THou
art calling, do not pass me by.."

i'm on your team.
forever. no matter what.
and i will always love you UNCONDITIONALLY
because that is what JEsus died for. and any
other love is worth absolutely nothing. stay on
course. and when you fall, just keep getting up.
i utterly believe in and for you.