ann kiemel

something so beautiful and amazing happened last night
in my 12-step group. I couldn't
have felt safe in most groups like
this. the commitment is serious.
the sharing deep and raw and exposing. a year of 12-step
is all about solidifying your sobriety.

a leader came along that I privately
trusted. I grabbed my friend, tere,
and respected God in who He would
draw in as the 'group'.

every thursday night. hard confessions.
we have bonded. one young woman came to the Lord.
three have been baptized.

so...
last night I come in. we are in bk.3.
starting a new chapter. into
character defects. tough. and adela says we need to stop early.
some reference made to cathy. hmmm.
wonder what's happening with
cathy? my last thought..
until janine waved her hand at the
clock.

"cathy?" adela speaks.
and cathy starts to stand, saying,
"I need ann to help me."

I instantly stand up, and see that
cathy is pulling a large gift bag
from under the table. oh, how sweet, I think.
she got each of us something for Christmas....when
suddenly, she pulls a cap off the
top and begins unloading all my
books she has found online..and
ordered. my mouth drops open.
complete amazement and utter
awe. my eyes are swimming with
tears. my hands are over my mouth.
I can't move. there's a warmth rising from
the bottoms of my feet. up my neck.
my eyes are glistening.

i've been recognized by thousands
at a time, but there is NO comparison. not remotely close.
it felt as if I had gone to the door
in my pajamas. kind of all wrapped
up in my character defects. hair
mussed. and when I open the door,
Jesus is standing there...saying He'd like to celebrate my life.

I will never get over this gesture of
love from cathy. and everyone. it
was a gesture so pure and love-motivated and beyond....
way beyond what I felt these women
had truly invested in me....that
it transformed me. and i'll never
be the same.

when I spoke, I said, "oh, you don't
have to read my books." suddenly
shy and embarrassed. sure they
wouldn't like them. but I am signing
them..and they are being shared.

recovery.
from addictions.
deliverance from enslavement.
"their Redeemer is strong. I will
ransom them from the power of
the grave." jeremiah 50