ann kiemel

my friend, kat, sent

me these beautiful verses:

"open your mouth and taste.

open your eyes and see...HOW

good God is.  blessed are you

who run to Him...

"worship God if you want

the best; worship open doors

to all His goodness."

psalm 34:7-9  the message

what a day!

brock called on his way home

from work...and i had a scattered

brain. had had a catscan

and physical therapy before

i see the surgeon on monday. my

friend was in the emergency room

at lodi memorial.  i, in the grocery

store.

an empty conversation

with my son.  it broke my heart.

it felt like being at a rock concert,

and chattering about nothing

with God.  sadness and concern

brushing themselves roughly

against my already raw heart.

sarah was released from the

hospital with a catheter bag

still inserted. her husband helped

her into my car.  she is 18 months

clean, and scowled  at me.

"what the hell?!!"

holding onto her catheter.

laughter, bordering on hysterics,

overtakes me.  i stop at a

grocery store and buy us a chocolate cake and a people

magazine.  we both hobble into

my house in pain.  she and her

husband are here for the night.

the five children distributed

among family.  i paid their phone

bill so they can at least stay

connected.  they are so grateful

for everything.

last night, i slept at tom's and

jan's in sacramento. her report

from the oncologist wasn't

good.

i have always wanted to

die first.  truly believing jan

could handle my loss better

than i could hers. how can there be

life without her?!

"moment by moment,

i'm kept in His love.

moment by moment,

new life from above.

looking to Jesus' til Glory

doth shine....

moment by moment,

oh, Lord, i am Thine."

(old hymn; author unknown)

often, this glorious, hard Race

demands everything.  all of

us have massive areas of

chaos in our  lives.  even if

it is all crammed down as

deeply and quietly as possible. 

something seems to always be

kicking up dust somewhere.

i'll walk with pain the rest of

my life...and count it all joy... if my children will truly

follow Jesus.  will live His love

to a broken world.   and know

how honored and thrilled and

proud i am to be their mother.

colson shouldn't be smoking

cigarettes, but he has

had anxiety since a little boy.

taylor was awarded for his

brilliant film degree, but still

doesn't have a job that draws

all his creativity to the screen, and

he is afraid his vision is drying up.

brock would literally live in his

car if he could play his bass in

a band that were to perform weekly.

brandt is just thrilled where he is.

and jasmine is happy.  for

him, that's everything. 

our little baby-doll just makes everything better.

and i just celebrate

all of you

because you are overcomers,

and warriors with backbones

for Jesus.

let's dance in His love

all weekend....and see everyone

through the loving eyes of God.