ann kiemel

i just got an itch in my bones.
my brain. my soul. it had been
before Christmas since i had seen
my grandbaby, colben. somehow,
i just instinctually trusted my daughter-
in-law to let me in when i arrived two hours
later down the road to her (their) front door.

in my arms were a pair of dinosaur pajamas,
2T, and a bedtime book about dinosaurs going
to bed.

my daughter-in-law,jasmine, does not disappoint.
she opened the door. we threw our arms around each
other and kissed. and i looked down into the beautiful,
angelic, little face of colben. with his wild curls everywhere.
his dark eyes dancing. i dropped purse, and all, and
picked up this little boy i love more than sky and sun
and stars and a hot drink on any cold, frigid day.

wrapping him in my arms, i began to kiss
him, and he giggled. and i started singing our favorite
songs. and twirling him around. i sent jasmine and
netta out the door with a little cash. pick up some
good lunch and go to a movie. or shopping. and
come back any hour you like. everything here is
covered!

and they did.
off they went, and instantly, i forgot
about sorrows and struggles and imperfections
and problems. i was carried by love for a little
baby toddler boy. as sweet as sugar. he wanted
to put his new pajamas on. so we did. and he
wanted to read the dinosaur book over and over and
over again. and we did. when i put him down for
his nap, there wasn't a whimper. a fuss. he was
the little dinosaur going to bed.

something so beautiful and priceless about
a little child. wrapped tight in innocence and
joy and creativity and love. it is ALL about the
heart. a baby knows the heart. it makes no
difference what your hair is like or your skin or
your weight...or the kind of car you drive or if
your bed is made or not. a baby only knows if
you feel safe and embracing. what kind of monster
could ever hurt a baby or child?!

i will work at getting pictures on this blog..or my
facebook...of colben's and my day, but when it was
over, the world looked right. the foundation. the block
upon block of earth and trees and sky. the air smelled
fresh. my skin felt clean. my eyes just remained wet.
i had just loved on...and been loved...by my most treasured
little life on this earth. my love so deep and pure that
it made my bones hurt in a good sort of way. i could feel
his soft skin and smell his vanilla-sunshine sweetness
for hours and hours after i was back home.

must run.
but i just want God to know
that when He blessed me with my sons,
He did a truly magnificent thing. and when He
laid this exquisite, little, grandbaby boy in my arms
He made the world spin, and the sun brighter, and
sin darker, and my life so much richer than i could
ever have imagined. and i want all of you, my friends,
to know that it means everything that i can tell you
about my children. and colben. and my struggles, too.
have a beautiful week-end. there is a surprise somewhere
just waiting for you to find it.