thank you all for your words of
love to me. implanted in my heart
to strengthen and bless me. feeding
me joy and comfort day after day.

very late.
just want you all to know that
this morning i received a medallion
from my university as a blessed
writer in its hundred-year history.
so much kindness from so many.
my friend, debby, flew in and surprised
me. staying with old friends. rich and
junella. more festivities to come.

i am just so happy i did not trip in
my heels and fall flat on my face in
front of several thousand people.

if you never receive a big honor from
someone, remember that only one
award in life really counts: being
faithful to Jesus. finishing the Race
of life. our
value is not wrapped up in being
successful in the eyes of the world....
but pleasing Jesus.

good night, fellow warriors. i am so
grateful i get to run this Race with you. i love you,
and can hear your feet hit
the pavement next to mine. through
thick and thin, we are heading for the
finish line together. the Celestial City.

i am in nampa, idaho, where i am to
glorify Jesus for putting His hand on
my writing. because it really IS all
about Him! an award for Jesus.

i have a bruise on my cheek. i hope
i don't fall on my face in my beautiful,
new high heels. and it is going to
be a very cold day.

please pray...and thank all of you who
have told me you already are. and
especially remember my new friend
on the airplane. i told her Jesus has
led me all the way. that He is everything.
may He touch her pain and her dreams too.

"are you weary? are you heavy-laden?
tell it to Jesus...tell it to Jesus..you've
no other such a friend or brother. tell
it to Jesus alone.."

tomorrow, i fly to idaho to the amazing,
private liberal arts university i graduated from eons ago. smile.
this year is their centennial year, and they
are honoring a few who have excelled
in various fields of academia. for me,
it is writing.

those of us chosen are being entertained to a week-end
of banquets and teas and a 5k race and a play;
wrapping up with a competitive basket-ball game with church
services on Sunday.

i have been terrified for all this. adulation for something Jesus did
through me...using one of His weakest vessels?!!
i forgot to have my nails painted.
and to get a spray tan (i always look better with a little color).

i have coaxed my best friend here to
brave the elements of frigid air to
spray me tan with something from
"sally's'' shop. i know this is not about
my looks at this stage, but i'm trying
to camouflage what i can.

really, i want my blue eyes to sparkle
for Jesus who can raise beauty out of
weakness. take ordinary people and
change the world through them. i
want to celebrate the glorious four
years at northwest nazarene university,
where the foundation of ministry was
laid for me.

and, of course, i forgive miss helen
wilson for giving me a b-minus in
creative writing. she gave me more
opportunities than anyone else on
campus.

Yes, my daddy's tombstone has only
these words: "it pays to serve Jesus".

as a little girl, hair pulled back in
a ponytail, i would say:
"daddy, why does Jesus pay? the
kids at school make fun of jan and
me. we're foreigners."

and my father would say,
"give God time."

"daddy," we'd say, a year later,
"no island boys like us. we are tall
and skinny and white and blue-eyed.
we are the minority and lonely."

"oh darling, sometimes it takes
years for God's true blessings and
rewards to begin being unveiled. "

many afternoons, after school, jan and
i would go next door to the church
altar. and weep and sing that old
chorus, "i know the Lord will make
a way for me...i know the Lord
will make a way for me.....if i live
a holy life. shun the wrong and do
the right, i know the Lord will make
a way for me."

my daddy had it down just right.
Jesus DOES pay. He kept me low
to one day raise me up. and in a way
that i would always remember it was
Him, and none of me.

my daddy was a preacher.
he was known by his praying, and
his passionate belief:
"it pays to serve Jesus".

reminds me of the old hymn:
"it pays to serve Jesus...
it pays every day.
it pays every step of the way....

"though the pathway to Glory may
sometimes be drear, you'll be happy
each step of the way."

i cannot say i am happy each step,
but everything worthy and honorable
and peaceful in my life is because of
serving Jesus. and every deep hole
and every sin are washed away by His
grace. may you feel joy with the rising
sun tomorrow, and remember, Jesus
pays.

Friday night.
Panera's.
asus computer. I like it!
Jesus keeps providing for me
through you. glorious. simply amazing.

it automatically capitalizes things,
which I don't appreciate. as you know.
will have to work on this. fix it.

next week, I go to the private, liberal arts
university from which I graduated. to receive
what is considered a coveted award. I really
don't feel worthy of adulation. certainly not for my
writing because that is a gift that is ALL about God.
not me. please pray for me.

my new book, God willing:
"everything I have learned about the heart of God."
stories from my life that have revealed the magnificent,
beautiful heart of God. I have had to live this long to even
begin to fully consider speaking about Jesus and His heart.

the collaborator (a first...to help put my style in a way acceptable
to the publishers who want my next book, but all wanted me to
'change' the way I put words on paper) is an author of 40 novels.
she started reading me at 14 years of age. says she read "i'm running
to win" over 40 times. she's humble and dear, and we are going to convene
at jan's house in sacramento. and none of us feels capable. the best sign.
her name is tracey bateman. maybe you've read her?

yes, billy (one of my blog commenters), there is a huge difference,
I think, between "heroes" and "idols". and I don't believe I qualify for
either. every day, I stare weakness in the face. every day, I crawl through
the cloud of doubt and insecurity to the radiant, shining Son of clarity and
strength, Who disregards all i'm not because of what He can do with ALL
He is.

blow the clouds away, Lord.
blow the doubts away.
that we may be light and kindness and love
and compassion wherever we go today.
amen. amen

Tomorrow, i will be back at panera's
with a computer. yehhhhh! but i have
been reading all your comments
daily..and they feed me like ice cream
on a hot day. thank you all.

and have i mentioned how much i
love my car?!! and how touched i am
every time i open the door?!!! Oh, i am
so grateful for everyone who has so
helped me in so many, sacrificial ways.
every dollar pushes a soft chord in
me. tenderness. i'm a warrior with an
army.

12-step study tonight. i always go with
my heart shaking just a little. have to
lay my negative stuff on the table.
pull the raw places out. expose them
even as the others do. we are step-
sisters for life.

today...have you mentioned the Lord's
name to someone? reminded the
world that Jesus really loves them?
and remember, Jesus forgives us
every day. we just have to ask Him
to help us forgive ourselves.

i love you all!