"good morning,

glorious, beautiful, magnificent

God.....my Redeemer and

best Friend!"

my phone accidentally

got left in my 12-step room.

i didn't realize it until i got

home at 9pm..and by then,

the building was locked for

the night. please forgive my

inconsistent blogging.

thank you for every kind word.

for even reading my journey day

by day.

i drove through to have my

oil changed, and this young guy

was calling gibberish to some other

guy under my car.

"sir, do you know Jesus?"

"sure do, ma'am.... "

"oh,  He makes ALL the difference,

 doesn't He? "

funny goggles on his face.

he jerked to a stop. looked

closely at me to see if i was

in my right mind.

"uh-huh, He really does."

my heart was beginning to

sing.  i was  in my element.

"if i can help somebody as

i go along...if i can cheer

somebody with a word of

song....then my living can't

be in vain."

tears in my eyes.

clean, untarnished 

joy.

"then my living can't be in vain.

if i can help somebody as i go

along, then my living can't be

in vain."

announcing....

because of God's vast

faithfulness and your many

prayers....

that my son, brandt, received

the news today that he is

the fire station's first choice

as a new firefighter in harrisburg,

pa.

yahooooo!!!!

he got the job.

no overseas' work

away from his little

family.

what seemed impossible.

what the devil made brandt believe......for sure...that the

mountain was too high.  and

what i wept over on Easter because

i, with such embarrassment,

confess to wavering in this dream.

today, may 9, God proved

us weak and wrong...and the

enemy nothing but a puff of

worthlessness.

"it is truly wonderful

what the Lord has done.

it is truly wonderful...

what He's done for me..."

as a family,

we celebrate the

magnificent faithfulness

of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

believe, fellow warriors,  believe.

for your seemingly-impossible

mountains today.

jan noticed she had a lot of lower
pain in her back. she was
finally diagnosed with multiple
myeloma. cancer of the blood.

she called back over to the
nurses' station. crying.

"how long do i have to live? is it
a week? a month?"

the nurse calmly asked where
her husband was?


"where is my husband?  he's
at work. what difference does
it make? i want to live!!!!"

that was six years ago.
jan has been through a bone
marrow transplant and
multiple other surgeries....but
her cancer remains in remission.

oh, we've been through
many things. fears. hospital
stays. our view of living has
shifted. i have thought that
if anything happened to jan,
i wouldn't be able to go on.

every day is hard.
a nagging headache. pain
in her foot. anything makes
her think it's the beginning to
the end. yet...so many promises
from Jesus. so much love
wrapped around her.

"it is I;
do not be afraid."
john 6

fear is the devil's favorite
tool. his roughest weapon.
refuse to let him near. just
start speaking the name of
Jesus. over and over. that
is our best defense. he will
flee.

today,
may you somehow
conquer the darkness
that life brings.
today, may the sun diminish
the darkness. believe.
and when you can't,
may the rest of us carry
you.

it is such effort
to dress and change clothes.
to wash my face, and keep
plenty of cream on hand for
my face. put make-up on.
and get my hair to co-operate.
well, the bathing comes first.

i just want to take care of
my soul. make my heart the
focus. it doesn't just happen.
pure hearts. grace. Jesus shining
in our eyes. a passion for the
lost world. it takes work, too.

"those who seek the Lord shall
not lack any good thing.....I want
you to be without care. ...be
anxious for nothing..."

time with God.
listening. reading His Word.
reaching beyond ourselves.

oh, i hunger for holiness.
but i get caught up in living.
worrying. keeping busy at
everything but the most important
pieces.

today...may 6...is brandt's
test for the firefighting job in
harrisburg, pa. thank you to the
one who offered him a bed. good
food. oh, from this mother to you,
thanks. please pray.

taylor is in dallas with colson
and brock. he's putting a financial
plan together for colson. brock
has just broken up with his girlfriend.
he's doing his best
to encourage them..and there
are a couple of big chunks in
taylor's life that he needs support
and wisdom with.

my sons cover each other's backs.
love sustains. and in their eyes,
no one better mess with their
mom. Jesus took my shattered
heart and infertility, and wrote
sheet music the heavenly choirs
are singing.

God is doing the same for you.
if you can't hear the choirs yet,
just know Jesus is still working
on the project. i love you all.

i was attending my 12-step
class. adela, our leader, who i
so love and respect, was
telling the story of her ex-husband.
one of them, i should say.

this man is the father of two
of her children..and a grandchild.
it just happened. something not
planned. exactly. but....

the plumbing in the bathroom
went awry, and manny is a
natural, fix-things-kind-of-guy.
he sort of moved in to work on
the bathroom. put slabs of wood
into the tree trunk in the back
yard so people could sit. laid
stones in the ground and created
a walk-way.

it became easier
to let him stay than to
nicely scoot him out. except,
they were divorced. and she
was feeding him. stepping
over him. every time she turned
around, there was manny.

a month ago,
she rented a u-haul truck.
helped him find a decent place
to live. took him to do change
of address and small, legal
issues. backing out of her
driveway, she stopped.

"manny, i want you to know
i hold nothing against you.
no hard feelings or resentments.
i'm sorry if i've hurt you."

he remarked that only
nice ladies spoke like this.
and i thought....i've fallen
into holes, unintentionally,
just like adela. found myself
in situations i didn't know how
to get out of. complicated
messes. really. and Jesus has
never left me stuck.

and i loved how adela helped,
in the kindest of ways, to guide
an old man to do what he really
didn't know squat (forgive my
slang) about. you know. finding
another place. renting the truck.
showing respect to the father of
her children.

it really is called grace.
Jesus has shown all of us
nothing but grace. all our
lives. yet...having grace for
others and ourselves is often
so difficult.

"behold, the Lord's hand is
not shortened, that it cannot
save; nor His ear heavy, that it
cannot hear." isaiah 59

grace is yours for the asking.
this very day!

national 

day

of

prayer....

"and His name

shall be the Hope of

the world."

matthew 12

Hope!

praise the Lord

Who gives us victory

and deliverance in 

dark and perverse neighborhoods

across america.

and prayer

holds the power!!!

"Lord, teach us to pray!"

sitting in dentist office.

new  crown.

two cavities fixed.  

a contraption of some kind.

distorting my mouth.  my

face.

i am so proud and happy.Jesus has made a way for me to get

my teeth fixed.  dentists must

be extremely wealthy because

it takes so much to get basic,

dental work done.  a mother

always takes care of children

ahead of themselves, so it's

been years since i've had my

teeth checked. i've fled offices,

sobbing, when they've told

me i had to put $1,000 on the

counter before an office

would put a lost crown on a

drilled-down piece of tooth.

living with an obvious hole in my 

mouth for four years has humbled

me.  i'm happy with social

security.  I am!!  BUT...one of you

got a tap on your shoulder from

Jesus,  and you shouted, "YES,

LORD."   yes to anything You ask.

and  ten years since my last

dental check-up, i'm back with

the noise of drills in my ears.

woo-hoooo!  i never thought

going to the dentist would  make

the sky bluer and the afternoon

breeze feel so fresh. 

i want us to be "yes, Lord"

warriors.  whatever Jesus asks.

oh, may my children be the same.

the world cannot be changed

by "no sir!"  people.  we have

to be doers and givers.

today,  ask the Lord

to show you someone with

a need that cries to be filled.

trust Jesus, Who owns all the

cattle on all the hills, to show

you how to get the job done.

no one is more rewarded than

a giver.  and God smiles to see

His army doing the work of the

Kingdom.