ann kiemel

12-step meeting.
almost didn't go, but my friend
got me there. special. special.
so much hurt and struggle and pain
and nine women who work all day,
with families, but still make it. we
are sisters. they've been reading my
books, and are full of love and vulnerability
and utterly dedicated to this journey we're on.

we are getting ready to dive into character defects.
i've got some major ones, so i forge ahead, praying
for God to give me the courage to be honest ....and
keep working my issues through. punishing my body
and spirit to remain strong and intact for the glorious
Redeemer who calls us to a hard, but magnificent Race.

taylor is home a few days.
he drives in. walks through the front door.
gives me the tightest hug, and everything
changes for both of us. we are together.
not alone. not trying to find our way in complete
solitude from one another.

"bless the Lord, oh, my soul...
oh, my soul. worship His holy Name...
sing like Heaven above. oh my soul.
worship His holy Name. worship His
holy Name." 10,000 reasons

then....
brandt returns from his 6 mos. deployment.
back to jasmine and colben and his brothers
and me. excited is hardly the word. how we've
missed him. someone is helping us so we can
all be together for a wk.end. to celebrate brandt...
and colson's 25th birthday..and taylor's graduation
from college. a little piece of Heaven along the way
to pump fresh hope into our veins, and call the love in
that has held us together as a family for so long.
through so much.

a comment came to me from one of you that stung
at first. hurt my feelings, until i really began to pray
and ask God to reveal her truth to me. she was speaking,
very lovingly, about the words we speak, and that they have
life. so when i write about my insecurities and the holes
i can fall in so easily, she suggested they might invoke
things that aren't healthy and good. that God covers us
with promises, and i should speak joy and promise and
blessing. it helped me. and she was right.

it is like, for me, a need to let you know the humanity
of my life. that it doesn't matter how many books we've
written or the millions that have read them, we are still
broken people. delivered by the clean, fresh, faithful
promises of God. picked up, again and again, because
we may lose patience with each other, but Jesus never
loses patience with us. pray for me. that i will speak
more Light into your lives. and into my own.

"sing like never before, oh, my God...
worship His holy Name. worship His holy
Name."