Monday, September 22
Ann, we are 69 years of age today. I can't grasp you are in heaven.
We began as one egg. You pushed yourself out first and you have marched ahead of me again into heaven. You know we never really talked about death and dying except it just couldn't happen. But three months before you died, do you remember saying, "I have to die first. You have Tom. I would be alone." I continue to have these awful mishaps, diarrhea everywhere, falling over the open dishwasher door, breaking more bones - I carry my pain alone. You are in heaven, your suffering is over. Hurray for you! And you were right, I couldn't have made it without Tom.
Sometimes I wail out your name. So many things I want to say to you. A new makeup I found. A new book. A sad feeling. I've talked to all your children. Brock is sending me a new blender. Mine is broken. I know you would be proud. Honey, you lost touch of all the millions who are changed today because of you. Remember Phillip Russell, your ROTC partner? He called. The only person from school I would even recognize. We graduated 51 years ago. He and I have had really honest talks about being haoles. How ugly and inferior we felt.
Ann, we have laughed and snuggled in beds with our magazines, spoken on the same platforms, argued fiercely. Never free for a day to be just ourselves. We had to always wonder what the other one was doing or getting. I don't have to worry about my weight anymore. It's a relief, honey. Why did you need to be so much smaller than me?
You are brilliant, beautiful, gifted and the most loving person I've ever met. I'm struggling with being overly defensive. I always have been a fighter. Another thing I wish we could talk about. While I feel a big piece pulled a part of me when you died, I carry you with me everywhere I go. Thank you for sharing your world, your great friends, your blessings. God poured great blessings into both of our lives, but I still become someone special, "magical", to people when I say I'm the twin sister of Ann Kiemel Anderson.
I crawled into your hospital bed minutes after you died, honey, and wrapped my arms around you, kissed you, cried, and knew my life would never be the same again. Wait for me, I'm right behind you!
I will always love you, darling. Jan
Tuesday, March 11
Sunday, March 9
everything must balance.We all thank God for Ann and the legacy she left us.
if i want to love deeply,
i should expect to suffer deeply.
this means i more or less choose
for myself what i want to put in
and take out of life. nothing great
or noble comes cheaply.
Please continue to pray for Ann's family as they mourn her loss.
Friday, March 7
Tuesday, March 4
Wednesday, February 26
Monday, February 24
one day a girl came in on her bicycle.
she had another friend with her
and this friend's father was president of the city college.
and she was an agnostic.
but i loved her anyway.
i wrote poetry with her;
i laughed with her.
i arm-wrestled with her on the floor;
i jogged with her;
i rode a ten-speed with her.
i shared Jesus with her everytime i got a chance.
she would call me some nights
and in the middle of of a conversation
she would slam the phone down in my ear.
i don't know how often the phone slams in your ear
but i didn't exactly appreciate it.
i mean after all,
she was the one who called me.
but i loved her.
although, i really shouldn't say so
because sometimes i really wanted to give up.
and sometimes i really wanted to smack her in the mouth.
but Jesus in me loved her
through thick and thin.
and then one day seven months later
the phone rang.
she was sobbing and crying,
i don't know how to tell you
but today at school,
in an unexpected, obscure moment,
it came to me --
God has to be.
because no one in my life loved me the way you loved me.
if anybody can love me through my moods
and the drugs
and all my mess the way you loved me,
there has to be a God.
in an obscure moment today
i found Him."
just about a month ago,
i got a letter from June.
she has Bible clubs everywhere.
Jesus is Lord of her life.
she's out to win her family to Jesus.
just because somebody loved her
through thick and thin
and you see, you can't stop love.
love finds a way through.
Sunday, February 23
Ann is so very appreciative of all your love and prayers. They mean so much to her.
God bless you,
If you haven't checked out Ann's Caring Bridge website, created yesterday, please take a minute to visit.
The website address is: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/annkiemelanderson.
This address is also posted on Ann's FB page.
Saturday, February 22
Excerpt from "I'm Out To Change My World" Ann Kiemel, 1974
i started in long beach with 88 teenagers.
i didn't know anything about being a youth director.
i just prayed one simple prayer,
"Jesus, You called me.
i am nothing
but You are everything
and i only make one request --
that You do things
that people will be able to look on
with such a sense of awe
and say it is too wonderful--
only God could have done it."
and then i didn't know where to begin
but i told those 88 kids
if they would just learn to love each other,
Jesus would trust us with the whole world.
but love is hard work
and it took a lot of months
for the big, tough football players to learn to love
but they learned.
and in a year and a half
we had sunday school in three sessions on sunday.
and we had sunday school on tuesday afternoons
for the neighborhood guys who couldn't get in on sundays,
and three more sessions on wednesdays,
and a club on thursdays.
from sunday to sunday
in a year and a half
we had four hundred teenagers
just because 88 kids learned to love each other.
you tell me love doesn't work--
and i don't believe you.
every time i went on a trip to speak
those kids prayed for me--
twenty four hours a day
around the clock--
because they were out to change the world.
"ann, we can't fly with you
but we'll stay here and pray."
an architect in our church walked up to me
and he was crying
and he said, "i want to tell you something.
a couple of weeks ago i got up early--
at 4:30 a.m.--
to fly to Panama
and i saw the light on under the door of my son's room.
now, rick's a sharp kid
but we can't get him up
even at 7:30 a.m.
and here it was 4:30
and the light was on in his room.
i bounded across the hall and threw open the door
and i couldn't believe it--
there was rick kneeling beside his bed with his Bible open--
'rick, what is the matter?
it's only 4:30
are you having some special problem?'
'it's ann,' rick said.
'she's in detroit this weekend
and i pledged to pray every morning
between four and five while she's gone.
you know dad, we're out to change the world
and when you change the world
you've got mountains.'
and the architect said,
"i walked out of his room
and closed the door
and forgot my trip.
i went into my room
and fell on my knees by my bed
and buried my face in the shieets
i don't love you enough.
i don't care enough."
Friday, February 21
Ann is in great need of God's healing power right now. All prayers for her are greatly appreciated. She has recently had a battery of tests performed on her to seek to determine the causes of her weaknesses and suffering. The tests indicate that blood clots have formed in her lungs, and preliminary results test positive for cancer of the liver.
These are both life-threatening, and we can't overemphasize Ann's need for God's healing touch, unless it is His plan and timing to take her home. Please lift her up before God, and we will trust the outcome to him.
All of this has taken a severe toll on her physically, emotionally, and financially. If you want to help her with a gift of love or note of love or both, they are a huge encouragement during a very difficult period.
Thanks so much,
Tuesday, February 18
Ann Kiemel, you sang so many little songs so just for today, if I could sit by your bed, I would hold your hand, look in your eyes with care and concern and sing a song to Jesus for us both: You are my hiding place........you always fill my heart with songs of deliverance whenever I am afraid....I will trust in You...I will trust in You...Let the weak say I am strong in the strength of he Lord.....I will trust in you....are my Hiding Place.
Love you dear.
Excerpt from "I'm Out To Change My World" Ann Kiemel, 1974
it was saturday night and i ran across the street
to get the vacuum cleaner.
it was late and i was tired and in a hurry
and mrs. grissom handed me the
vacuum cleaner and i looked into her
tired, old wrinkled face,
and i don't know why
but as i took the cleaner and started to go
i said to her, "oh, mrs. grissom,
God loves you a lot."
and the tears just began to spill down her face
and she said,
"could you wait just a minute?"
she went back into her house
and got a plaque off her wall
and brought it out.
it was a picture of weeds---
just ugly old weeds smeared all over the picture
and underneath all those ugly weeds were these words:
nobody likes weeds.
nobody carries them in a bouquet
or wears them in a corsage.
but God waters the weeds.
and she looked up,
"you know, ann, all my life i have
felt like a weed."
"mrs. grissom, could i pray with you?
i didn't know anyone went all through
life feeling like a weed.
there are times when i feel like a weed.
but i didn't know anybody
felt like a weed all their life.
really, i just came to get the vacuum cleaner
but i was wondering
could we just stop for prayer?"
she said she'd like that and we went into her
and i said,
"would you like to hear a little song
that i sing a lot in a big lonely world?"
i will serve thee because i love thee...
You have given life to me.
"so i'm not just a weed and neither are you
because He gives us life."
heartaches, broken pieces
ruined lives are why you died on Calv'ry.
"that's why He came, mrs. grissom."
Your touch was what i longed for.
"you see, He makes flowers out of weeds."
You have given life to me.
and i prayed with her.
when i finished praying with her
i looked her in the eye,
"oh, mrs. grissom, i love you.
you are a very special lady to me."
and the tears began spilling down her face.
"i've never been special to anyone before."
i picked up the vacuum and i ran across the street
to my little apartment
and threw myself across the bed,
"oh, God, it's so ironic!
the people who live the closest to us
are the ones we overlook,
the ones we fail to reach out to.
Jesus, use me in the neighborhood.
if i am out to change the world,
i'll have to start in my own neighborhood."
the next morning was Sunday
and i called the florist at 7:30
and asked him to put together the
most beautiful bouquet he had ever fixed.
i wanted the flowers that looked the prettiest
and smelled the best.
i mean the loveliest bouquet he had ever made!
"well, look lady, it's Sunday morning.
i barely have my houseslippers on and..."
"but sir, you don't understand.
it's for a very special lady
and i want her to know she's not a weed---
but that she's beautiful."
"yes, ma'am, i'll see what i can do."
"just write on the card ---
'bright hope' - 'love, ann' "
the very next day she knocked on my door
with tears running down her wrinkled face.
"i've never had a bouquet in my house before,
for the first time in my life
i really knew God loved me."
i'm out to change the world---
that's my hope.
Monday, February 17
Excerpt from "I'm Out To Change My World" Ann Kiemel, 1974
it was in the summer and i got up into a
beat up old cab in miami beach
and asked the old cab driver to take me
to another hotel.
it was hot and every window was rolled down.
and i asked him,
"what is the one word that describes your life?"
he was old and gnarled
about as beat up as his cab.
"yes," i said.
"what are they?"
"bored and unhappy."
"sir, why are those the two words that
describe your life?"
"i don't know. i guess 'cause i got
nobody in the world."
no wife, no children, no family?
no one in the whole world for you?"
"tell me, sir,
how did you get to be an old man and
"cause i never got a good job and
no woman wanted me."
"sir, can i sing you a song?"
"i don't have a very good voice,
but i know you'd like my song."
"just a minute, please."
he rolled up his window. then he nodded at me.
and i began to sing:
Saturday, February 15
after heading to rehab last month,
God used this time to reveal the multiple blood clots
in my lungs and infection in my body.
i've been leaning hard on Jesus
and on my fellow warriors' prayers.
please stay with me in prayer as
i continue to fight this illness.
would you keep my sons in your prayers,
as this has been a difficult time for them
while i've been so ill. love, ann
"Guide me, O Thou great Jehovah,
Lead me through this barren land.
I am weak, but Thou art mighty;
Hold me with Thy powerful hand.
Bread of Heaven, Bread of Heaven,
Feed me till I want no more;
Feed me till I want no more."
Ann enjoyed hearing the following story that was posted on her FB page and wanted to share with all of you.
If any of you would like to share a story/memory of how Ann's ministry has touched your life, please post on Ann's FB page and we will use in some of her blogs while she is fighting this battle with her health. Ann would love to read your stories.
Friday, February 14
Excerpts from "YES" Ann Kiemel 1978
when things i once thought were gain,
i now count as loss.
i have put aside all else, counting it worth
less than nothing, in order that
i can have Christ. . .
and become one with Him. . .
i don't mean to say i am perfect. i haven't
learned all i should even yet,
but i keep working toward that day
when i will be all that Christ saved me for
and wants me to be.
no. . . i am still not all i should be
but i am bringing all my energies to bear
on this one thing:
forgetting the past
looking forward to what lies ahead,
i strain to reach the end of the race
and receive the prize. . .
philippians 3:7, 12, 13
this is my spiritual autobiography. i want to allow
myself to be vulnerable. i want to be brave. i want
to say to you, in specific, genuine illustrations:
i am human.
i fail. struggle. get scared. have hurts. am lonely.
but. . .
i am standing with my face to the sunrise. my back
against the wind. my head high. my heart
sturdy and strong. i am committed. i am
truly whole. Jesus Christ is the highest
Fulfillment and Joy in life.
i want this book to be, to the glory of Jesus Christ,
my "will and testament," my statement
of the power of Christ in one, everyday,
ordinary young life
i fail. . . feel insecure. . .cry.
i hurt, struggle.
i'm single. a woman.
i long for a man.
i am tempted.
sometimes, i forget Who has led me
to where i am.
forget that i am a servant and
not a hero.
forget that "if we lose our life, we will find it."
that those who seek will find.
to the Cross.
to obedience. . .honesty. . .
reality. . .earnest heart.
to joy and sorrow.
ease and difficulty.
success and failure.
to saying things that edify.
because Jesus is the divine Yes.
because He changes everything.
He is my highest Fulfillment.
He's made me whole. . .
takes the bad and turns it to good.
He is my Song. . .
my Reason to live.
for to me, to live is Christ.
Thursday, February 13
in a race, everyone runs but only one person
Tuesday, February 11
He has given brings responsibility and a sense of
Monday, February 10
i am going to change my world.
Sunday, February 9
While Ann is in the hospital and unable to write her blogs, she so wanted to continue sharing with you. We thought you might enjoy reading excerpts from Ann's books. She thanks you so much for your prayers!
Saturday, February 8
Update on Ann
Since our last update, Ann was sent home from rehab with blood thinners to continue the process of dissolving the clots in her lungs.
Ann was home a short time and had to go back to the hospital as she is still very ill.
She wants you to know she loves you all so much and requests continued prayers.
"YES, to anything.
to God's ultimate will being done in my life.
to anything, because Jesus can turn it all to good."
... excerpt from Ann's book, YES
Tuesday, January 28
|before the dusty road of the Cross|
Message from Ann
|the uggs taylor brought to rehab. |
a piece of one of my children.
i have been and am still so ill.
there are no words to thank you for all your prayers.
because of your prayers, i am truly making it.
i've had the most wonderful nurses and some
of the best doctors.
jan is steady and holding her own.
Thursday, January 23
to all you beautiful friends
keep running the race.
the race is sometimes
and, at times, we think impossible.
so, be strong and join me as we
run for the goal of arriving at the celestial city
where there will be no suffering and pain.
i love you. your prayers mean everything.
God is with me.
Wednesday, January 22
Sunday, January 19
walking through the doors
to begin rehab. my clothes and necessities and
Bible are packed. ready to load.
health care today is an entirely
different fork in the road. there
we stood: my sponsor, adela. the
initial intake guy...and the very
top facilitator re: who will be
accepted into the rehabilitation
program, and financially, reliable
enough to enroll.
four of us.
the pin-point center
of my soul was as quiet
and still as fog that has suddenly
rolled in, and the possibility of
my acceptance looked dismal.
as if i was jumping out of an
airplane 10,000 feet up. if Jesus
didn't catch me, i would splatter
dead center at the bottom of the
or, God could swoop His massive
arms under me, and save me.
"16 years ago," i began to share, "i
that if He would deliver me
from my addictions, there was
nothing i wouldn't do for Him
the rest of my life. addictions to
performance and praise were
at the top of my list; pain pills
followed. Jesus kept His end of
the bargain. so did i. until.....
"after almost a year, and four
major surgeries on my feet,
and wild, crazy pain, i have
once again found myself
starving for freedom. pleading
for the sweet taste of deliverance
again. there is almost nothing
worse than being enslaved.
almost ...as if a robe was blowing
in the wind, we all sensed someone
had entered the room. i saw
that the one who carried the
power among us, grabbed tissues,
and began blowing her nose. then,
we all had tissue. we all began to
"ann, it has come to me that
if you could pay the half up front,
$3,850.00, and the rest at the
end of 30 days, we'd make you
the exception. and continue to
get medicare, and your supplement insurance to pay their part."
i have enough savings for the
first half. and God's arm is never
too short. it will take all i have,
but Jesus poured out all He had.
when Jesus enters a room,
and no one can deny it,
"who am i that i should
choose my way? the LORD
shall choose for me.
tis better far i know...so let
HIM bid me go or stay."
i plan to blog to you
every day. i long for your
prayers. a journey i can only
make if Jesus runs this course...
and sustains me. for each of us
entrapped in addiction, it takes
a Power greater than ourselves
to be set free.
unhinge the gates.
make the path smooth.
running from glory to glory.
flow, River, flow.
thank you so.....for every
post of encouragement.
for every dollar given.
please forgive me for not
being better at showing
gratitude. for now, please
Wednesday, January 15
of all we are and aren't...
shattering earth particles,
crushing the sun blasts through