Thursday, February 28

"our glorious sacramento trip"

brock, brandt

taylor, brandt, kristi, brock

brock, kristi

kristi, brock

brandt and colben, colben



brock,ann, taylor, colson

colson, taylor, brock

taylor, kristi, brock

friday's blog will especially be featuring jasmine....with brandt and colben. that trip esp. celebrated brandt's homecoming.

Wednesday, February 27

sorry that taylor and i are taking so long
in getting all the photos together (well, some)
for you all to have a glimpse into our sacramento
trip as a family.

we promise you the pictures are coming.
taylor is doing laundry. cooking for me. keeping
things in order. helping me with my walker. it is
an incredible gift to have four, wonderful sons who
really care about me. i've decided the physical pain
(from my feet) pales compared to being forced to
be still and quiet and look at myself in the silence of
my room. what is Jesus telling me?

this i know.

"You've kept track of my every toss and turn
through the sleepless nights,
each tear entered in your ledger,
each ache written in your book....

"i'm proud to praise God.
proud to praise God.
fearless now, i trust in God;
what can mere mortals do to me?

"i'm thanking you, God, out loud in the streets,
singing your praises in town and country,
the deeper your love, the higher it goes;
every cloud is a flag to your faithfulness."
psalm 56-57 The Message

wave the flags, warriors.
wave the flags.
in celebration...and
in the shadows of difficulty.
God is love, and love promises HOPE

Sunday, February 24

"last in series of blogs about FEET!
tomorrow: pics from family gathering."

i had to have put my brain on the
shelf when i allowed the orthopedic
specialist to operate on BOTH
feet at once. my legs are tangled.
everything about me feels incapacitated.
and jan and i, doing this surgery together?
it was a very dark decision.

something about us lying side-by-side. in dire pain.
moaning and sharing bottled water and beginning
to argue over who was in the most
misery. and neither of us being able
to have our own space and breathing room. jan got irritated
by the click of these keys on my
smartphone, and I was trying to
keep the blogs going.

christian, jan's youngest, you know..was being paid by us to
come at our beck and call...tried to
become our private therapist. there
was something about our mutual
agony that literally brought out the
demons. our children now know
what their mothers are capable of.
brandt, my youngest, just bursts
into laughter at the vision of his mother and aunt carrying on like
this. three weeks down the road, and we are just beginning to forgive
ourselves. our grace toward the entire world has expanded.

thank you for your beautiful words
about my speech aired on focus on
the family. you touched me deeply.
every single one of you. you know,
after those days jan and i had, that
Jesus truly raises miracles out of
ashes. i had taylor, who has been
here, helping me, come sit on the
steps of my bedroom with me. and
i sobbed, and told him about the
broadcast that very day.

"taylor, i am not worthy of God's

"oh, mom, yes, you are."
this is how sweet and loving my
children are. a complete mystery!

may God's vast love
cover each of you today. and may
He heal all your wounds.


Saturday, February 23

three weeks into foot recovery.
pins sticking out of toes. pain.
excruciating! a walker. sore throat, and
today, i began, for the first time, to believe
i couldn't get to the end of this journey.

it just hit me.
a harsh slap across my normally-optimistic
spirits. three more weeks before i can put weight
on left leg. the toes look swollen and black. i live
with my bedroom upstairs. now, a walker. taylor
came back with me from family gathering. he
hasn't felt really well, either, but trying. to bring
me tortillias with melted cheese and avocado.
and keep me going.

i crawled down to first step landing.
"taylor," i began to sob. "please talk to me."
he settled next to me on the steps, and tears
streamed down my face.

i promise God to show far more compassion
and love to every wheel-chair driven victim that passes
my way. to anyone on a walker. to those who struggle
just to walk. i promise to let my eyes glisten in each one's face,
and to treat those with more notice and solid respect and pure,
undiluted kindness.

focus on the family
played an old speech of mine.
i never listen to my own stuff, but i begged
God to somehow be glorified even though there was
nothing unusual or exceptional about my walk with Him
that made me worthy of this honor. the devil always makes
me feel tiny and miniscule on days God chooses to use my
one, inadequate, undeserving life. but love HIM? oh, that i
do, i do. i do.

i wept.
my oldest son sat and listened.
he helped me, via walker, hobble out to
back patio and feel the cold air on my skin.
to see the sky between the trees. to be standing
in God's world. to realize that my son probably had alot
of worries, too.

Lord, rain on us.
wash away our moments of panic
and sadness and fear. take us, just where we are,
and lift us to higher realms of victory. teach us how
to overcome in our darkest hours. make me a mother that
is human enough to not be perfect, but neither allow me to
lay all my woes before my sons when they have enough of
their own.

endurance is our warcry today.
may we run with patience and the
will to NEVER give up.
my deepest love to all of you who
are my friends, and running beside me in
this Race called Life.
amen. amen.

Thursday, February 21

“listen now, you who know right from wrong,
you who hold My teaching inside you:
pay no attention to insults, and when
mocked don’t let it get you down…
I’m the One comforting you. I am God,
your very own God.” Isaiah 51

life is a journey of hardships and bruising.
but for every loss, there is an important gain.
always. watch for your sunrises. they are
coming. God promises!!!


Wednesday, February 20

family goes separate ways.
what a gift and blessing for all
of us. we will never forget.
siblings must stick together.
heart to heart. side by side.

brandt laid next to me in bed
late last night. firefighter. husband.
father. bodyguard. but forever my
son. my child. he whispered. I
listened. home at last.

kristi, brock's girlfriend, with tattoos,
something I was once horrified
about. now, all I see is her beautiful
heart. yes, Lord. it's all about the
heart! she's your child, Lord. keep
my eyes on the heart.

colben got a fever. brock threw up
five times. i have two feet in casts.
taylor took orders tonight for our
food. went and brought it up to our
adjoining rooms to save room service gratuities. we so respect
and are grateful for this trip that we
tried to save what we could.

wrap the kiemel anderson family
with love...and Jesus..
and the clouds begin to part. and
we know Jesus has led us all the way. Jesus and you and love.

may we pass it on.
carry Jesus forward.
run the Race, and somehow,

Tuesday, February 19

Ann on Focus on the Family

Ann's streaming audio, "How Can I Change", will re-air tomorrow, Wednesday February 20th. Check the scheduled broadcast time in your area at the Focus on the Family website.
the close of another Sabbath.
a day set apart.
different from all other days in a week. God's day.
how was your time with Him?

oh, it thrills me to be with my children.
not the easiest with these
two feet wrapped...and a walker...
but all the laughter. the stories of
four sons, a widowed mother, and
adolescence. my children recall
it all.

every sunday morning on the front
row. making sure they heard the
messages clearly. picking one or
the other up from school. taking
them, unexpectantly, to be drug-tested.
brandt told kristi, brock's girlfriend,
"my mother, I swear, was
the FBI!"

tonight, one of them had alittle too
much beer. "mom, we're just having
so much fun." he and I are going
to have to talk this out before our
good-byes. I have never believed
in too many absolutes...but more
negotiables. but absolutes build
the foundation. the mortor between
the bricks.

i've succeeded and failed...but
four, honest, loving, 'i've got your
back' sons I have. and colben is
the beautiful, happy doll-baby in
the middle that melts all our inhibi-
tions. his fly-away ringlets and beautiful face of joy invite healing
in all the cracks we so desperately
need in.

tomorrow, I want to tell you how
I have fallen in love with kristi.
tattoos and all. i am not a cheerleader of tattoos, but kristi's
heart is another deal. and jasmine,
my daughter-in-law, is an anderson
to the core.

family time is magical.....and it
reminds me that my greatest
mission in life is to keep my children
in the Race. straight for the Celestial City. to the Finish Line.

am I what I need to be to get them there? my soul hungers and longs
for more of the King. our glorious
Savior. until tomorrow...and a one-day trip to san francisco. loving u.

taylor, brandt, kristi, brock

ann & colben

Monday, February 18

it is beautiful and amazing and
almost perfect. my children and i, snuggled in our high-rise hotel.
celebrating the safe return of brandt
after a 6-month deployment. he and
jasmine and 2yr.old colben are in
the connecting room to ours....

where taylor and i and kristi and brock are sleeping. hodge-podge.
in a room with two beds. side-by-side.

the one imperfection is that colson's
boss would not let him off.
i prayed and begged God and tried all manner of maneuvering.
but to no avail. please pray for him while we
are here. i know he's in God's care.

as you know,
i'm hobbling around with a walker.
two feet in casts. yellow pins sticking out of the ends of my toes.

a good, solid block away is joe's
crabs. difficult walking, but great
food. well, everyone said so. taylor
carried my walker. jasmine, the
baby. kristi, the sippy cup....and
brandt, with massive chest and
upper arms, picked me up. tossed
me over his shoulder like a sack
of potatoes, and we headed out.

i'm sure it was obvious that i must
have been too drunk to walk. not
once did i lift my eyes. we arrived
at joe's crab, only to realize there
was a 2hr. wait.!!!

brandt picks me up again...holding
onto my dress..and we walk another
couple blocks to a wonderful little
place. laughter and great food
and funny, old stories like every
family owns. I don't know many
mothers who have sons strong-enough...and utterly uninhibited...
to pick up their 115 pound mother.
with everyone participating...and
the world watching. just for the
record, i consumed no alcohol
tonight. or ever.

taylor, with his leased cameras he
took to el salvador, is going to
be shooting a lot of pictures tomorrow. get ready.

i'll continue the blog tomorrow.

"great is the Lord..and greatly
to be praised......."
my heart is full of God's goodness.

Sunday, February 17

taylor brought me home this morning,
after brandt picked him up at san fran. internatl. airport.
they arrived at brandt's at 2 a.m...where i was sleeping on
a little bed in the living room, and taylor crashed on couch. exhausted!

we were up and out by 7 a.m.
learning to manuever myself up and down
the stairs to my bedroom has been the hardest.
we divided laundry to be done. put on p.j.'s.
both of us. and had such fun just covering bases.
being together. talking. was thrilled taylor had a
great trip to el salvador, filming. he sat me down,
and handed me two, wrapped gifts. an exquisite vase.
big and colorful and meshed with colorful fruits. and....
a hand-carved bowl. beautiful wood.
"to mom.... love you! taylor"

special. special.
just like brock who put all the flights and hotel
and schedules together for our little celebration.
colson who will just send a text: "love u!"
and brandt will do anything if for family. last night,
jasmine was running to the gas station.

"jas...could you pick up a diet pepsi for my mom,
brimming with ice. that's how she likes it." just taking
care of his mother, and i hadn't said a word.

brock's girlfriend is coming. she and jasmine have never
met. the boys haven't had a chance to get together. and
with colben bouncing around, with his ringlets flying, and Jesus,
the head of the King's Army surrounding us.... may His grace and love
cover and be poured out. may the anderson clan never be the same

the Lord tearing up the patches in our hearts.
quietly showing each of us any patterns of resentment
or bitterness. lack of forgiveness. sin. comparisons.
my mission is to see my children make it to the other side. the one who is
making this occasion a reality.
"glory, glory hallelujah!
glory, glory hallelujah!!'
"glory, glory hallelujah..HIS TRUTH IS MARCHING ON!"

Saturday, February 16

early morning.
no make-up.
dark circles.
but Jesus took taylor to
el salvador and back
safely. hallelujah! amen!!!

ann and taylor

genesis 12

tests often follow triumphs.
God is bigger than any issue we
God restores those who confess
and repent.
wherever abraham went, he built
altars and tents. never ashamed
of his faith.
danger zones in our!

Friday, February 15

happy Valentine's!!
celebrating love is fun!
wouldn't it be great if love were
when Jesus speaks
about it, He reminds us that
love is unselfish and patient.
never seeks its own. not puffed
up. always thinks of others
more than ourselves.
it is so natural for broken
people...of which we all mess up in these areas.
our insecurities seem to always get
the best of us.

and that
beautiful little word, love, that
we all long to feel warmly threaded
through our veins, gets squashed
and tattered. and often makes us

Jesus has taught us what real
love is. laying down our lives
for others. He did it for us with the
thorn-studded crown..hate and
mockery..and nails driven into
His hands and feet.

"oh, how wonderful..
oh, how glorious....and my song
shall ever wonderful...oh,
how marvelous is my Savior's
love for me."

this is the weekend that a friend
has gifted us as a family to all
come together in sacramento.
welcoming brandt home after six
months of deployment. (notice picture below). we are tossing in taylor's
college graduation and colson's
25th birthday. please be thinking of
and praying for us.

all four of my daughter-in-law...and grandson are at pretty stable places today,
but I assure you the enemy doesn't rest or
sleep. he is prowling around our
children..maneuvering their circumstances. trying to twist
their thoughts. turn them at odds
toward each other. the devil is slick
and greasy and nasty. God says
we must flee. run for our lives.

tighten your back-bones..i'm working to do the same. and please
know I really, truly love you all.

brandt and colben

Thursday, February 14

this was a day of towering challenges.
some conflict between the two of of us. jan and me.
and suddenly, who walks in but brandt and jasmine and my doll-baby, colben.

christian started a gourmet dinner.
he and colben became fast buddies. and i wept.
turned our sinfulness to earnest pleas of
God's forgiveness. and somehow.
i was rejuvenated.

"do not despise the small
beginnings for the Lord rejoices
to see the work begin." zechariah

give Jesus the beginning
of every morning, and watch what
He can do. miracles are already
in sync. beautiful surprises.

remember february 20.
focus on the family broadcast.

thanks for so many cheers coming
my wsy. u have no idea what
each means.

"hallelujah, amen.
amen. amen.,"

christian and colben

Wednesday, February 13

mine. yours.
and all the regrets that smack
us in the face more often than we like.

if i had fed you better.
been more disciplined with your homework.
wished there had been more hugs and kisses and
prayer and devotional times.

the different backgrounds.
faiths. ways of dealing with conflict.

oh, pray, as my children and i reunite since
brandt's return from deployment. we are so close.
love being together.

at one point of life, everything can be looking
very good....but, within months or few years, influences
can stomp in with muddy, powerful sweeps of lies. a one-time,
normal, workable child is found on a completely different track.
a dark one. one you would never have imagined or dreamed.

our hearts can be ravaged and broken.
the future look damaged and dark.

"oh, God, save our country.
redeem our attempts to represent Jesus
correctly. may it start in us. our shaken hearts.
and passed on to our children and grandchildren...
and many families around us.

i wish i had my Bible right here. everyone is asleep.
and using a walker, trying to maneuver myself with a
Bible, just doesn't work.

but the family is precious to Jesus.
His love covers all. stay close, Lord, stay

Tuesday, February 12

today is day seven.
one week under our belts.
first visit to the doctor.
jan was in wheel-chair and i, in
walker, not realizing what jan had
tried to tell me: dr. lian's office was
around the block and five floors up.

i ended up on jan's lap in her
wheel-chair. the walker, folded, on
my lap. and christian, jan's and tom's
youngest, charming, amazing son, stuck our
two purses around us, and pushed us the
entire distance. i, hanging on for my life.

well, we've had a good look at all four of our feet. gruesome!!!
staples and stitches removed, feet soaked in warm,
antibiotic water. re-cast. five weeks to go.

christian, our hired helper, can do it all.
jan dials. one ring, and he shows up. handsome.
sweet. ready for service. 6ft. 4inches. he picked jan
up and situated her in the wheel-chair. anytime we were
remotely hungry, he had snacks. gourmet dishes. favorite
of all, special ice creams, and hot, ginger tea. tonight,
he even gave us a counselling session, and jan wasn't the
therapist. christian was.

especially pray for Christian.
this week.

knowing you all are praying for us is a great
comfort, too. we don't expect to let anyone else
touch our feet again. tough stuff!!

today, is colson's 25th birthday.
and i miss him so much.
he and his girlfriend and brock and
kristi all went out to dinner tonight. we are
always trying to cover each others' backs.

jan and i are learning to try and be patient.
i've never prayed for patience, too fearful of
the doors it might open and what we might
be expected to do.

"oh, to be like Thee.
oh, to be like Thee.
blessed Redeemer,
pure as Thou are.
come in Thy sweetness.
come in Thy fulness. stamp
Thine own image deep on our hearts."

my biggest challenge today is to be quiet.
to over-look the things that irritate us about
each other. God, we plead to you. we seek
you. we wait.

Friday, February 8

well...jan and i have been home
from the hospital a full day. the
nurses in that hospital will never
forget us. same room. same nurses.
always pressing the red
button for help. we each had both
feet done. we can hop on one foot:
not the slighest weight for six weeks
on the other.

we have each fallen once. wailing
in terror. jan's youngest son,
christian, is the one we've hired as
our helper. he came running for
both spills.

nurses. some warm and pleasant. others who never crack a smile
black and white.... absolutists
in their approach. a pain pill 5 minutes early is WAY too early.

i told jan it is the hardest thing
to get around. no feet. it is like a
job experience. one hour at a time.
please pray. pray. pray.

"He leadeth me. He leadeth me.
by His own hand, He leadeth me.
a faithful follower i would
His hand, He leadeth me.."

thanks for all your loving comments.
remember, the lady who challenged me to have more
kindness for myself did so with much love. and a few others
challenged me likewise. oh, i have
miles and miles to go, but i'm truly

"this little light of mine, i'm going
to make it shine....

Wednesday, February 6

taylor leaves tonight for el
salvador. invited by friends and
my church, bear creek community. a new college grad
as you know, in film. first assignment. he's nervous.
pretty daunting. he's filming a
missions trip. please pray.

colson called yesterday.
"mom! pray...someone stole my
bike!!" brock had a long talk with
him. brother to brother. brandt
returned from deployment. to
jasmine and colben. well, you
know it all. being a single mother..
well, just being a mother, never
changes. i fly to the floor. arms
spread out. face down in the rug.
crying out for my children. Jesus.
our Friend. Jesus. who draws
our children into His
vast arms. Jesus. our only real Hope for our children.

running to win.
warriors of the Cross.
we must be warriors because
this world demands it.
grabs at us from behind.
always trying to divide and
conquer. separate us from one
another. turn us against ourselves.
even those we love.

run the Race.
to the end.
i love to run.
do you?
everyone can
be a winner.

pic of taylor (rt) and tony pinellas
leaving for el salvador

Sunday, February 3

last night we partied.
all the gals from our 12-step group
celebrated patty's birthday.
one of the most fun parties ever.
God hand-picked us. we have
laid our sins and failures on the
table. stuck together. side-by-side.
special. special.

at the very beginning of the year,
patty wanted us to pray that she
would receive Jesus into her life.
what an incredible way to start!!!

jan and i BOTH have foot surgery.
we decided to do it together.
the ligament in my left foot is not
holding the inside of my foot up.
a specialist is going to try and fix
it. please pray for both of us.
for jan, that she can walk well afterwards.
and for me, that i can keep running.

Jesus calls common people to do His work.
everyday individuals like us.
keep trekking and know i love you.
will keep you posted here on how jan
and i are doing. i love you all.

Saturday, February 2

slow down.
step back.
breathe evenly.
feel the air on your face.
the glories of the heavens before
your eyes.

"be silent, and know that i am God." NLT

quiet. still. listening.
God is never in a hurry.
He waits for us to be stopped.
focused. yearning for His Presence
before He unveils His heart to us.

brock called.
"i was at the dentist office this morning,
mom, with kristi (sweet girlfriend!). she
had her wisdom teeth pulled. a man
went to the receptionist. he was wearing
oxygen...and i overheard the receptionist say
that his insurance required him to pay $10.50
more before he could be seen."

"this poor man, mom. he didn't have
any money until tomorrow when he gets paid,
so the lady was trying to reschedule him. i
just couldn't believe it. i walked up, and said,
'i'll be happy to pay the $10.50,' so they went
ahead and took him."

being ready. warrior, battle ready.
always alert to how God wants you to
change the world today. it is almost
always a moment you don't expect.
you make an instant choice. you see
a need, and fill it. and you only notice
God's hand tapping you on the shoulder
if you are sensitive to Him. to the broken
world around you.

Jesus is working in my life.
up early. Bible in hand.
praying for my children. for
others. crying out for me and
my limitations.

"Jesus is ALL the world to me.
my life. my joy. my all.
He is my strength from day to day...
without Him i would fall...."
(old hymn i love)

He is ours. and He is waiting
for us, every day, to somehow introduce
Him and His love to those who pass our way.

make us ready, Lord.
ready to be used.

Friday, February 1

everything important costs
something. going from grade school to junior high. graduating
from high school. college. staying
married thirty years. forty. getting
through a ten-mile run. a 26.2 mile
marathon. caring for a parent with
dementia. a handicapped child.
being in good shape.

a cost to be paid. a sacrifice
poured out. the disheveled and
unkempt being loved.

to birth Hope in a ravaged world
demanded a Savior. deliverance and sweet freedom from ourselves
and all our sins was forged by a
crown of thorns and being nailed to
a Cross. Jesus did it for us. the
ultimate cost

"Jesus paid it all. all to Him
i owe. sin had left a crimson stain....
He washed it white as snow." an old hymn.

when my four birth mothers laid
their 24-hr. newborns in my arms,
they understood well what "cost" was all about.
I have yet to meet
a birth mother who didn't want her
baby. each one relinquishes her
baby because she loves the baby
so fiercely, and believes someone
else can love better than she.

as warriors, we must live with open
hands so that Jesus can put in or
take out of our
lives what He knows
is best. today, may we be sold out
to Jesus. all His. at any cost.
running with joy.

run, river, run.
and never give up even
if the currents are swift
and fierce. "the Lord is our
strength and shield..." ps.28