Saturday, March 30

my 6yr. old friend who
ALWAYS speaks the truth.
remember, his grandmother
asked what he did with dirty
school clothes and he said,

"you'll be upset with me if i
tell you." but he told the truth.
he had wadded his school uniform,
and tossed it into his closet.
these are some of my favorite
children. five of them. at 6yrs.
old, gianni is the oldest, and
gabriella is two weeks. brand
new...with three inbetween.

well, a couple mornings later,
grandma tere was fixing him a
bowl of frosted mini-wheats.
not wanting him to be wasteful,
she poured just enough into his
little bowl.

"can i have more?"
"when you finish these."

suddenly, she noticed he
had some in one of his fists.
"what about those in your hand?"

very quietly, he said, " those
fell out of the box."

"gianni, remember you are the
little boy who always speaks
the truth."

with eyes cast down, he
heaved a little sigh. the burden
of truth resting on his shoulders,

"oh, i took them."

many times, i've said to my
children, "i lie. rarely, but i do when
i get scared. when i suddenly am
afraid. the real issue is not the lying but the instant confession and
need for seeking forgiveness."

today, less than 24hrs. away
from Easter sunday, when we
celebrate the resurrection.
of our glorious Savior, may we
be Christ-like in word, thought
and deed. enjoy Jesus today!

Jesus paid the ultimate price
so that forgiveness can be ours.
His for us..and our forgiveness
of ourselves and others.

    gianni with grandmother tere               ann holding gabriella

Friday, March 29

Holy week.
Jesus knowing what
His father was preparing
Him to endure for the sins
of the world. our Savior,
bent in mercy and dread and
unwavering odedience.

sing the Gospel story.
wave the flags of praise.
dance to the beauty and
thrill of deliverance.

whiter than snow.
cleaner than clean.
once red as crimson.
now white as wool.

oh! i want the world to know.
i long for all to be free.
to have the Friend of all

"excuse me, sir.
please, ma'am...
little boy....
can i tell you my story?"

"would you like a soda?
a cup of coffee?
little girl, can we play dolls?"

just let the whole world
know. all who pass your way.
it starts with love. building
bridges instead of walls.
grasping a hand. sticking $20
into the palm of a single mother.
a smile so fresh. so wide. so
authentic...that the other one
will feel the warmth. will know
they are not alone.

there is nothing so tender
and magnificent as taking
someone's hand, and placing
it on the doorknob that opens
to Jesus' heart. absolutely
nothing. ask Jesus to annoint
you this week. in a special way.
i am doing the same. it is all
about being warriors of the Cross.

Wednesday, March 27

i have been reading from
proverbs 16. the Message.

"far better to be right and poor
than to be wrong and rich."

"a good leader motivates,
doesn't mislead, doesn't exploit."

"good-tempered leaders
invigorate lives."

"it is better to live humbly
among the poor, than to
live it up among the rich and

"get's worth more
than money; choose insight
over money every time."

God's Word is so crisp.
so clearly laid out. these
are just a few simple verses.
tuck them into your heart....
and let them transform your
thinking. i will do the same.

with love and compassion,
change the world for Jesus
today. i love and treasure you
all. and am running right beside

Monday, March 25

prayers have touched colson.
got a haircut. washed clothes.
things are going much better
at work. thank you so much.

this is what i read to one of
my other sons yesterday:

"here's what i want you to do,
God helping you: take your everyday,
ordinary life...your sleeping, eating,
going-to-work...and walking around
life..and place it before God as an offering. embracing what God
does for you is the best thing you
can do for Him. don't become so
well-adjusted to your culture that
you fit into it without even thinking."
romans 12
the Message

our lives an offering
today. everywhere we go.
all we do. His. completely.
not perfect. God isn't looking
for perfection; only authentic.

Sunday, March 24

on the couch.
cast off. big, black boot
as replacement.
an ugg on my "good" foot.
ouch again and again.

i was prepared to fly.
immediate decrease of
pain. moving forward.
wrong. so wrong. just like
so many things we take on in
life. for the most part, the
journey is so much more costly
than we expect. my friend,
natalia, says...

"when you are in the middle of
hell, keep walking." i just have
to let God and time heal my feet.
and plow my way through.

colson called. on his bike.
flying down the streets of
dallas, en route to the mcdonald's
he manages. i thought it was
his daily call to tell me he loves

"mom, i need your input.
i had to fire two employees
yesterday. i feel troubled. the
first lady had to go, but i know
i could have done better the
second time around."

i listened. quiet. still.
i love this son of mine. he
is honest. pure in the core.

he is going through a divorce.
that is shattering. he's been
homeless. the toughest love
a mother can dish out. last
year, two men walked up to
him and put their guns to his
head. rather than shoot him,
they pistol-whipped him.

we tell you our stories as a family
so you can know our journey is
"common to man." colson is
gifted. he is as hard a worker
as they come. and he utterly
gets Jesus. as a family, we
pooled our money and flew
him to dallas to live by brock.
in two days, he had a job. in a
couple months, he had his own

"mom, i pray every day on my
way to work. please pray for

i gave him a few thoughts.
some insight. prayed with
him, and reminded him he was
my treasure.

may Jesus be glorified in
all our tireless journeys. songs
in the night.

Thursday, March 21

peniel: "i have seen God."  genesis

i have seen God in the wide
morning sky. i have seen God
gather the sorrows and ladle out
grace as vast as the oceans.
soothing the wounds. kissing
the tears.

my cast was sliced,
and removed. revealing
blood blisters and a peeling,
swollen foot. no boot for it
until today. and fresh pain coursing through my toes
and up my leg....tears
stinging my eyes.

send 100 balloons
skyward...and paint the
walls yellow and the doors
red. free. free at last. i can
walk unassisted. a few more
weeks of pain....but seeing

and like abraham,
i build an altar in my soul.
my cheeks are wet.
my eyes shining.

"great is the victory.
great is the victory..that
overcomes the world."

find a point of victory
where you live today.
call it Holy Ground.
Christ's power over
pain. over what feels
eternal..and you long
for it to be history.

warriors of the Call.
may we join hands.
weak. broken. young and
fit and old. run with us,
Jesus, run...until
we see the lights of
the glorious Jerusalem.
hallelujah. amen. grocery
store..excited..cast coming off
within hours

Wednesday, March 20

"my eyes have seen the Glory
of the coming of the Lord....
glory, glory, hallelujah..
His Truth is marching on."

Lord willing,..
jan and i get our casts off.
yes, we transfer to some kind
of ugly boots, but we will walk
again. no walkers. i sound like
we are pitiful. ungrateful.
whiners. but i am so excited.

going to sit in hot tub of
bubble bath for a long time

if i go out anywhere,
driven by someone,
i stop by the dry cleaners
to hug and kiss veronica.
my tiny, korean friend.
please don't forget to pray
for her.

thinking of all those
who must use walkers and
wheelchairs for life. i throw
my arms around you. kiss you.
place crowns on your heads.
heroes. all of you.

there will be new mountains
to climb. much-harder battles
to fight. but i'm going to
celebrate today for what it is.

find a seed of promise somewhere
in your life today, and join in
the parade. thank you for all
your prayer and support.

"God is Light..and in Him is no darkness at all."
1 john new testament.

i love you all!

Tuesday, March 19

stir the colors.
divide the wounds.
separate the pain.
remember the journey.
there are so many pieces
to life.

my view is so narrowed.
i am trying to paint a vision
and it feels crooked.

brandt and jasmine and colben
came to see me yesterday.
colben, with his bouncing
curls. his sparkling, dark eyes.
wow! for me.

jasmine and brandt quiet.
wondering where God is
sending them in may. i felt
the magic of love and family;
the yearning of youth with
a view mainly of mountains.
and very little frame of reference
with God to draw on.

i feel 97 yrs. old.
my cast must weigh 150lbs.
compared to my plummeting
weight of 112 lbs...and no
matter how much i'm eating.,
i still remain a waif.

"my eyes fail from looking upward."
isaiah 38

wounds come and pain attacks.
life is a rugged journey. BUT...
"come to me all you who are weary
and heavy-laden...and I will give
you rest." matthew 11:28

Monday, March 18

beautiful, thoughtful gianni.
just turned six. one of my best-friend's sons.
endearing little boy.
a treasure.

his grandma was there helping..
baby number five had just arrived.

after school. change of
clothes. grandma walks in.

"where are your dirty clothes?"

"you will be upset if i tell you."
"no, i won't. where are they?"
"are you sure you won't be mad?"
"yes, i promise."

gianni opens his closet door,
and tere can see the dirty uniform
wadded up around corner in closet.

tere gets them.
"i'm going to show you that
i'm not upset by tsking them
to the laundry myself. because you
didn't lie."

truth. clean and unsullied.
let's strive for that today.
in Christ's power.
all for His glory. amen.

"and a child will lead them."

Sunday, March 17

up all night.
crying out.
Jehovah Rapha.
our Healer.
Jehovah Jirah. our Provider.
Savior to the world.
bless my little family.
bind us together.

love chords. woven and
roped and firmly fastened.

thank you for your prayers.
my son so upset. hadn't heard
from him since phone disconnect
yesterday. and then....

"mom, i call and vent with
you just to be heard. so i won't
lose it on the job. all your sons
come to you with all their private
struggles.. we trust you, mom.
you are the world's best mom!...."

"and I didn't know my brother here
was sad i didn't let him take me to
the doctor's. mom...we had a couple of beers last night..and we
are going to get together a lot more."

and the waters were smoothed.
snd the storm settled. and
my sons are on the same page.
and i see, again, thst prayer

"glory..glory hallelujah.
glory..glory hallelujah
His trutb is marching on..."

gather your children around you.
hug them tigjtly. paint crosses on their foreheads.
remember Jesus reigns.

Saturday, March 16

i have learned the enemy really does
wear big, muddy boots. he storms
into our lives whenever he feels
lke it.
he is very clever, and
when he sees opportunities, he
grabs them.

one of my sons
became fearful for one
of his brothers. yep! the
devil moved in. alarming all of us.
he tried to make my one son
believe that we had all lost
respect for him.

i received a blistering call.
it was not pleasant. it had to
be my fault, and now he was sure
his brothers no longer had high regard for
him. the farthest thing from the
truth. my other kids think
he is the cat's meow. i..
believe he can do anything!!

i was crying.
the upset son hung up on
me. and his brother. i am
devastated. you must know
how tightly-yoked we are as a
family. we watch each other's
backs. when I say we are tight,
i mean it.

it is 2:30 a.m...
and i've been awake.
seeking the vast love of
my Savior. Husband...Father to
my children.

flow. River. flow.
"there is a River that flows from
oh, come, water. baptise our
spirits. wash away our pain.
oh...please remove the bruised
sting of hurt from good intentions.

the Blood. the Stain of divine
love that redeems what nothing
else can. please pray for us.

i now feel 93 yrs. old.
this walker. one toe that still
looks as swollen as a little
sausage. it feels eternal.
this journey.

run the Race. run.
straight for the Goal.

"what satan meant for harm, God will turn around for good."
genesis 50:20

Friday, March 15

i think, over and over, about the
place on my blog/website about
people contributing to my
ministry. at first, i was horrified.
i had never asked anyone for
help. it sounded as if i was
taking advantage of others.

for me,
i had always used what money
i had from my books. my greeting
cards. speaking appearances.

this is such a stretch for me.
but i genuinely want you to know
that your generous giving has
given me so MANY opportunities
to help. the poor and single moms.
the broken. and I assure
you that i don't spend your money
on myself. i just so want to keep
Jesus alive. on the streets where
i live. and He always had a special
heart for the lonely and needy.
please forgive me for not expressing
more significantly what God can
be doing today.

another beautiful mother
of six helped me today.
to dr.'s for my ear infection.
the bank. every where.
i locked my car and house keys
in my house. taking her car with
gas on empty and the engine light

you filled her tank. and helped
provide a treat for the children.
to hear sarah's story would
leave you in awe and respect.
inspite of her great
in their car with four...and a fifth
on the way...she is victorious,
i loved every minute we shared.

please know you are stars in
the Kingdom.
and i am so ashamed that i have
not adequately thanked you each

changing the world.
building bridges instead of walls.
this is my passion for Jesus.
thank being a part.
with love and gratitude, ann

Thursday, March 14

a phone call.
one of my sons. i
was sitting in the california highway patrol office.
waiting for my car to be
inspected. long overdue.

"mom, please pray for me.
i am having a problem with
my soul...."

"with what, darling?"

"my soul! i have lost my
fire. my peace. and i don't
know why..."

my entire world faded.
the noise around me.
the police officer waiting to
give me the final approval.
one of my children was worried
about his soul.

how many...especially one in
his mid-twenties...can identify a
soul issue? pinpoint that as the
source of lost joy and peace?

"darling, i have been struggling,
too. sometimes feeling far from
God. unworthy of His blessings.
Jesus is looking at you even as
we speak. with such a smile of
love. you are His treasure...and
He is bigger than our sins and
thoughts. He is our Deliverer."

"mom! my ride to work is here.
i love you, mom..."

"darling, of anyone i have ever met,
at the tiniest. truest pinpoint of
the soul, you are the purest. Jesus
will lead you out. i will be on a
prayer vigil for you. oh, i love you."

and i find myself on my face.
constantly crying out for my
children. for me....their mother.
a fellow runner in the Race.

"o my God, my soul is cast down"...
you will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You,
because he trusts in You."
psalm 42 & isaiah 26

Tuesday, March 12

a young mother of six..
in the middle of a divorce.
fiery for God. all His.
she's helped me while

she sends a text:
"what kind of wine do u like?
red? white? dry or sweet?"

i begin to smile. big.
sitting on the couch. and
text back: "you make me
smile. so sorry, but i don't
like wine. any kind of alcohol.
come over, and you can have
your wine..and i'll have tea."

and she came.
it was her husband's night
with the children. we laughed.
talked about Jesus. being
single parents. our struggles.
our victories. she had promised
our mutual friend that she would
go with her at 3:30a.m. to take
someone to sacramento airport.
and she sipped her wine. i looked
at her and felt such love.

a bottle of wine. giggling.
i talked her into staying over
with me. we crashed. each on
a couch. tere was on her way home
from the airport before my guest
opened her eyes. 4:45a.m.

well, cat didn't make it to keep
our friend company on the road,
but all was forgiven. in the mix
and blend of life, God brings
people together. i was lonely.
so lonely. and Jesus sent
me a friend. and fun. and another
friend who understood.

when you have so graciously
donated money to my ministry,
almost every single penny has
gone to help single mothers. to
have lived there is to understand
the terror of not enough money
for the children's food. a roof
over our heads. i can never thank you all enough.

"the Lord will give strength to
His of good cheer!
it is I; do not be afraid."
psalms and the book of matthew

Monday, March 11

farther along.
around the bends in
all the roads. on the
other side of this latest
mountain in our lives.
farther along.

sometimes my legs become
shaky.  i feel anxious. my
children all have battles. some
harder than others.

brandt is done with the airforce
in may. a fireman, but willing to
do anything to care for his wife
and son. taylor, now with a degree,
but not knowing where to work.
college loans to pay off. etc. etc.

these feet.  hundreds of hours
on the couch. 10 days to go before
cast is removed. walker thrown
into some gully. and permission
to walk in a boot. i keep the Bible
and people magazine beside me.
sometimes, i fear too much of the
world and too little of Jesus.

each week, i'm driven to the dry
cleaners to see veronica. speaks
such little english, but hugs and
kisses and "i love you's"
covers the bases.  one day,
Jesus is going pull the curtain
aside..and give me the right
moment to lead veronica to
the Door. further along.

glorious sunshine.
wonderful freedom.
today, we may not be able
to see our mountains levelled
and our sorrows washed away.
but His Glory is coming. watch.
wait. i love you all. for today,
Jesus is enough. everything else?
further along.

Sunday, March 10

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." 3 john 1:4

jasmine, colben, ann

jasmine, colben, ann

jasmine, colben, ann

jasmine, ann, brandt, colben

jasmine, ann, brandt, colben

"give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His Love endures forever."
1 chronicles 16:34

ann, jasmine

jasmine, colben, brandt

jasmine, colben, brandt

jasmine, colben, brandt

"and now abideth faith, hope, love, these three: but the greatest of these is love." 1 corinthians 13:13

Saturday, March 9

"every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."
james 1:17

taylor and colben

taylor and colben

jasmine, ann

colben, jamine, brandt

jasmine, colben, brandt

a few more pictures tomorrow...

Friday, March 8

when Jesus laid my four babies
in my arms, He spilled heaven in
my hair. every tree danced. the earth swelled and bulged wIth joy.
every single choir on earth sang lullabies.

with each birth and arrival of another son, i promised God that
i would run this Race of living with
new fortitude and passion. that I would not only do my very best in
training my children for His cause,
but invest myself in the lost and
hurting lives around me as never before.

oh! Jesus has been good to me.
my children are now in their twenties. from toddler age, they
drew people to me. any mother
trying to maneuver four, little boys,
3 yrs. old and under, would get
attention. i would get a chance to
tell my story, and God's.

to the God of glory.
to the King of Kings.
hallelujah. hallelujah.

i love my children and grandbaby
more than the early morning sky
and the afternoon sun. they came
at such a price. after so much pain
and sorrow. i share their pictures
so you will believe in miracles, too.
never give up. never. never. never.
the sunrise is coming for you, too.
more than the fresh, morning sky
and afternoon sun.

jasmine, ann, brandt, colben

Thursday, March 7

"jump off a cliff. and build yourself
wings on the way down."
(ray bradberry)

i want to fly. not competitively.
not to show off. never to prove i'm
hot stuff. i want wings that can
glide with the winds of hard blows.
and never cave in and lose heart.

i want to go for it with
wherever life seems to be holding
out to me. i am God's. one chance
to live for Him.

jan and i made it to our dr.'s appt.
jan sat in her wheelchair. I sat on ...
jan's lap. and held the walker on
my lap. what a sight. tony, our friend,
our purses, and being pushed. today, all the pins were
yanked out the ends of our toes.
progress. well, so says the doctor.

will enclose a picture.
silly. funny. enjoy the silliness.

love you all.
i continue to be deeply moved by
your comments. let's be soldiers
of the glorious Cross. people are
helping veronica, my korean friend..
taking their dry cleaning there.

pray for every chance to love.
and watch the rising mist of God's
tenderness seek the brighter.
richer grace we all thirst for.
love, ann psalm 119

Monday, March 4

the chimes.
listen to church bells as they,
with lethargic rhythm, let the
communities know it is the Sabbath.

what does that mean to us?
do we create a different stance
on God's day...or does it play
out the same as all others? i think
it is very lopsided in our mind.

taylor left for home friday evening.
my friend found a second walker
for me at the thrift store so I have
one at the top and bottom of my
stairs...and taylor situated me
downstairs. brandt, en route today
to fresno/clovis...stopped by. with
a big, cold, diet drink and candy.
he held my wounded feet in his
lap, and we talked about: life.

i feel 92 yrs. old. 2yr. old colben is
our family's star. more pictures
coming. "the greatest thing in all
my life is serving Him."

Sundays are for families.
i speak to my children.
i dance to the songs of the
Redeemed. no church for me
today because of the state of my feet...
but celebration is demanded. the music of the
redeemed. God's love and mine follow you today! ann

p.s. did i mention what a fantastic
job taylor did for me. 3 straight
weeks taking care of me? kudos!

Sunday, March 3

i wish everyone a glorious weekend with your families.
and...if you have none, i believe God does not disappoint...
and surprises are His speciality.

"be strong when you are weak,
be brave when you are scared.
be humble when you are victorious."

Jesus, our HOPE, through
all the winding roads of life.

Friday, March 1

colben, jasmine, brandt

jasmine, my beautiful daughter-in-law

ann, jasmine

jasmine, ann, colben, brandt

jasmine, colben, ann

jasmine, colben, ann

uncle taylor, colben

these are God's answers to my
prayers. the rare gifts after many
losses. the glistening sunlight after
bruising darkness. these pictures
are just who we really are. our
essence. our silliness. a bond you
may not see, but i promise is fierce
and strong among us.

as a family, we have treaded the
edges of cliffs, and Jesus has
kept the guard rails up and His
powerful arms around us. we have
learned gratitude and humility and....watched God take nothing,
and make something out of it.
meeting all our needs.

losing all my financial wealth was
a gift. i believe children do better
with less than more. we had needs,
and Jesus met them. gratitude grew. no over indulgence.
God's ways are always the right ways.

forever indebted to the four, young,
courageous women who gave me the utter desires of my heart. and
to Jesus, the ultimate Giver.