Thursday, March 29

i'd like to tell you about each of my sons.
just so you'll know how amazing
God is. my second-oldest is brock. 26yrs. old.
his middle name is kiemel, and he was born just
weeks after i had miscarried twins.

wow! what a gift he is to my life, and to his brothers and
those around him. when he was born, will and i were in
the delivery room. his birth mom and i weeping. such a gift.
so much joy. a sense of loss. i still remember when i took
his birth mother to the airport to fly home (from the south).
we sat in the car, by the curb, and wept and hugged and i
didn't know who i loved more: my brand-new son or his birth
mother. she and i share something no one else in the world does:
we are both his mother.

in two days, this beautiful son of mine
is flying me in to dallas on virgin air. "mom, i know
it is the one airline you've never flown on!" i can't wait.
he is my only one who lives outside california. five days
to laugh and remember and share and be. five days for
him to teach me how to use my new ipod (given as a gift).
he is brilliant, and i'm surely grateful because i am learning-
disabled around technical devices (even computers!).

brock and i are very close.
i remember sitting on the floor in the laundry room, folding
clothes, when he came in from his day at kindergarten.
"mommy, someone made me feel bad today. he said he
didn't like my shoes."

"well, that must have made you feel terrible. darling, everything
about you is beautiful and amazing and strong. everything!"

i've always told my children to let God put a dream in their hearts,
and to never let go until the dream lives. that it will take all of God and
all of them, and to never, ever,,, ever give up.

brock and i are alot alike. i remember one night, about
three a.m., when the over-head light in my bedroom flipped on.
there stood 16 yr. old brock.

"honey, is there something wrong?"
he fell across my bed and told me we needed to talk.

"mom, once a week i go outside and walk around and
smoke a cigarette. i don't know why, buy it just helps me. but
i can't keep doing this without you knowing."

i reminded him they are very addictive, although i have never
smoked one. i am an addict in recovery so i know HOW hard it is
to give something up. "honey, are you sure about this?"
yes, he was. that is the kind of son he is. he confides just about
everything in me. everything! and i listen. and always know how to pray.
i don't give lectures. i don't think they are effective at a certain age, if ever.

brock's dream is to travel the world in a good band.
he's been passionate about this for many, many years.
he moved to san diego with taylor (9mos. older),,, and was chosen
to play bass in a BIG punk band. please don't disintegrate like i did when he
told me the name of this band: cheap sex! i was horrified. "honey, this
is NOT a Christian example, and i know how you love the Lord."
" i know, mom, but they just chose that name to gain attention."

i'll finish my story about brock tomorrow. please hold him in your hearts.
he's my morning sun and afternoon sky. my sons are everything to me!


  1. oh i remember brock... i remember how kind and gentle he was. he was such a cute little kid!
    please extend our love to him. i doubt he remembers us but tell him an old babysitter of his wishes him well!

  2. Oh, I am looking forward to hearing about your son's. I like Brock's heart. Have fun in Dallas!!!

  3. Hi Ann...I work for Virgin and hope you have a wonderful flight! It truly is the BEST!! Love you too!!