Wednesday, March 14
been thinking of all of you out there who love
me and care about me and encourage me.
just always know that it means SO MUCH to me.
your love to me,
and mine to my neighbors.
we must keep passing it along.
EVERY day, Jesus has a plan for us.
He is going to put people right in front of
our faces, and we need to be ready to speak
whatever words God guides us to share.
i was in panera's...and ordered
a pastry (sweets are ALWAYS my favorite!!).
a very dear friend sent me some gift cards, and i
was trying to find one in my purse. the girl behind
the counter was smiiling. waiting. with people lined
up behind me. finally...
i just looked at her, and said,
"every time i can't find something, i start
thanking Jesus because He sees everything, and He
knows exactly where to find what i'm missing."
at that moment, i pulled out the gift card.
i was just ann. human and ordinary and imperfect...
but God's. and i had the opportunity to just speak
the name of Jesus. my favorite thing to do.
you and Jesus and i and love.
that really IS all there is. we either build
bridges or walls with everyone we meet.
we don't need to worry where our words go.
we just need to speak them at those
God-ordained moments. and i promise you that i have
lived long-enough (66yrs.!) to know that God plants our
loving words in others' hearts, and they don't forget!
it is all Jesus really asks us to do if we are
following Him. where in the world did judgement and piety
and negativity and criticism fall into so many hearts that belong
my husband would consistently say he was a pharisee.
i did not see him change until five days before he died.
suddenly, he really loved the children and me.
i mean, in a way we could understand.
the veil was lifted. he stopped bossing us around.
he held the children's hands and spoke beautiful words to each of them.
he asked me to forgive him for all the years he didn't really love me..
when i had been God's answer to his prayers.
marriage is the hardest thing either of us had ever committed to.
ultimately, it wasn't about him
loving us, but accepting each of us. will was the boss. and i was
always wanting to bake brownies at bedtime for the boys.
and the boys?
they were just the sweetest, brightest, most loving children.ever...
but they were children.
this is all i can tell you today.
i really try to unveil to you all the pieces of my heart and life,
just so you will know you are not alone.
that life is hard, but Jesus is beautiful. and His Blood
and i KNOW that will would be disappointed
in me if i didn't tell you his story so you could travel a different path.
the children and i are better than we've ever been.
all because of Jesus.
jan is still in remission, and is going to start a "group"
for women in downtown sacramento. called "girlfriends".
i like this idea, don't you? jan trying to change her world
where she is. this is what Jesus is all about.