Tuesday, March 13
you know. Jesus and the church.
there are SO many people that just can't
find unconditional love and acceptance at
the very place where God's love should feel
the most real and accepting.
i know all about sunday mornings.
getting everyone into the car. maybe arguing
all the way there. but we pull up. have tried to
look our very best. and the children, too. and
we jump out of the car, everyone smiling. greeting
others as we walk in. but...
we sit side-by-side.
we may know those around us casually, but we don't usually
REALLY know their dark places and failures. and
they certainly don't know ours. we all sing glorious
hymns. the pastor's tie is tied just right.
he tells us beautiful stories about Jesus. His vast
love and deliverance. and then we go home. i haven't
told you what is REALLY going on in me nor have you
shared your private agonies and addictions and yearnings.
this bothers me. i mean it
REALLY upsets me. gays don't fit in.
those whose businesses are crashing don't
often feel the most acceptance inside church doors.
parents of rebellious children are usually criticized.
john's drinking problem is a BIG secret. and i always
wonder why those who are weak and broken and messed
up and sliding accross acceptable lines aren't the ones
inside church doors. where they should feel pure
Jesus died for the broken. the shattered. the prostitutes
and gamblers. He died for SINNERS. but Christians
work very hard to look together and successful and happy
and perfect. i know. because i tried to for a very long
time. i was terrified that if you really knew me you would
reject me, and then where would i be?
when i went in to recovery for pain-pill addiction, i was
amazed. we would be escorted to AA meetings where
men and women would confess all their ugly failures...
and everyone listened. offered complete support. promised
confidentiality. and i did the same.
come, Jesus, come.
run, rivers, run.
rain pour down and wash us.
and may every single drop of CHrist's
Blood purge us of all our superficialities and
judgements. oh, precious Blood of Jesus, redeem
us so we can help you change the world. You and us
and love.making clean the dirt that contaminates our
thinking and hearts. flow, Blood, flow. amen. amen.