Monday, March 26

my oldest child , taylor, is almost done with a
degree in film at cal. state, monterey bay.
at the end of the year, each student must create
a film....or collaborate ...on one with one or more
others.  taylor's love is editing, so he's decided
to hook up with a girl who is making the entire
focus of the film about adoption.

well, that just happens to be taylor's life story
because his birth mother delivered him (we were there)
and laid him in my arms at 24hrs. old.

i had gone in to speak to robin first.
"don't feel you can't turn back.  that it's too late, robin.
will and i will pack all his beautiful , little baby clothes
and send you  home with taylor in your  arms."

and we meant it.
God's best in all our lives happens when we all
keep everything we really love and hold dear in open hands.

so. robin chose the hardest path. to relinquish.
with tears streaming down her face and mine, she
tightened the little blanket around  taylor, and held him up to me.
she said ,"i carried him just for you!"

at that moment,
everything  flipped in my thinking.
if robin could give me her most-prized possession,
i chose to also give the baby back in the most-loving way i knew:
robin would always be a part of taylor's life.  at birthdays and
well....anytime it worked out.  never would my son have to go on
an intense search for his birth mother; nor she with him.
i call it OPEN ADOPTION.  God gave us three more babies.
i was the labor coach with each one, and we were both in the
delivery room when the babies' popped their beautiful, little ,brand
new faces into the world.   today, among the four birth mothers and
our four sons and us, we are still building memories.  we are all
devoted to each other.  the family is BIG and glorious.  a story
about miracles. 

the whole world needs to know what
adoption is all about; and what makes open adoption
selfless on every side?  that's for tomorrow!


  1. This is beautiful! I think it is wonderful and amazing how the mothers of your children have been involved in their lives even though you and your husband adopted them!

  2. I just found you blog yesterday and am looking forward to reading. I remember reading your first books when I was a teenager and loving them. The about 15 years ago when my husband and I were navigating our way through adoption I read your Open Adoption book. I also gave it to our daughter's birthmother for her to read. We used it as sort of a guide to set up our own plan. It meant a lot to me then and still does now. I was in the room when our daughter was born almost 15 years ago. Six years later we adopted again and then three years after that (when I was 43) God gave us another baby born to us. I love all three of our children with my whole heart. Somehow I've always felt you were a part of my experience in becoming a mother. Thank you for keeping a blog. Debbie

  3. I am so, so, so, so excited about Taylor and his degree in film!!!! How cool that their film will be on adoption. I hope the whole world will see it one day!!!!

    "Robin chose the hardest path. to relinquish" ...what a hero!
    Cool blog today! Thanks!