before i finish telling you about brock,
i want to say something else to those who are reading this.
if you've longed for a baby, and can't seem to conceive,
and tried the adoption route, and that, too, seems like a dead-end,
i just want to remind you that God is NOT far away. He always has
the perfect plan. the best we can think of is counterfeit to what God
has. if there is a baby in the world, and it is God's baby for you, i
can promise you that God will get that baby to you. His network
of connections is vast and miraculous, and He can put things together
as no one else can. don't lose heart!
okay, back to my amazing son.
i was on a twelve-day spkg. trip, and though he was 16, he still loved
travelling with me (they all have). i was in mcpherson, ks. at a college
auditorium, when i got on stage, and had been introduced to speak.
i asked the crowd if they would like to meet my incredible, second-born son.
brock came up to the stage. i felt so proud. suddenly i noticed a very low-
grade murmuring. " oh', i address everyone, "you are saying to yourselves that
this isn't what you'd expect a son of mine to look like this."
"i just love brock's look. the little chain around his neck. the
spiked bracelet. the dark-blue color in his hair. i think he's beautiful,
and i love the individuality of my children." one of the absolute rules
in our house was that there would be NO tattoos until they lived on their
own, and paid for them. praying, with time, that would stall any errational
we had our arms around each other. he is 6'3". he looked like a band
player, and i knew his heart. i knew he wanted to play for the Lord. to
meet other kids and help them with their issues. brock went down and sat,
and i proceeded to deliver my speech. at the close, i noticed that people
were lined up clear around the auditorium. a few had books for me to sign,
but most of these people were parents. with tears in their eyes, they repeatedly
told me what i had done to shift their views of how a teenage son or daughter
looks. that the outward is only the small piece of the inside. i've always
worked on the hearts of my sons. for me, that is where the "issues of life"
are settled. at least the Bible expresses this.
the next morning, i had a quick breakfast with the group of women who
brought me to their community. one started crying, she said,
"when i was tucking my 9 yr. old into bed last night, he said, "mom, when
i get older, can i look just like brock?!"
brock is utterly honest. sweet. kind. very winsome and beautiful, i think.
he's extremely intuitive. he no longer plays for the c.s. (initials are
more comforting when saying the name of the band) band. but
they were a very prominent band, and i decided it was God's sense of humor
to make brock's dream live those two or three years as a bass player. he
touched alot of kids. today, he works for bank of america, and yes, has a band.
but he's been broken by his band not doing better, and flew home to spend
12 days or so with me.
"brock, remember a dream has to die before it can live. always remember
this. that is why so many lose heart before God's plans are all wrapped up
together." there are so many wonderful things i could say to display his
true heart, but not enough space or time. i'm so excited to be with him.
God took the twins and gave us brock. from the moment he was born, i
absolutely knew this was our baby. God always works things out magnificently!
yes, he's my morning sky and afternoon sun. always. forever.