Monday, October 8

i just love my 12-step group (9 women). we just seem
to be a perfect blend. and when it is our job to do homework;
to share our resentments and hurts and hang-ups; to lay them
out, piece by piece, before everyone in complete trust that we
will not be betrayed.... well, beautiful things happen. there is not
a squashed moment of distortion. these things are what we remember.
we are sharing some things we have never verbalized before. ever.
and no matter how awful and shocking some of our experiences are,
we never think less of each other...but more. it takes courage.
raw and unflinching. and it draws us together.
ropes of love and compassion that weave
around and over us. you just can't help but be changed.

i know i've told you about our group before, but i keep growing.
we now, often, sit side-by-side in church on Sunday mornings.
two weeks ago, two from our group were baptized together.

and wonder of wonders,
i have all my bible study fellowship sheet done. and it isn't
even until tomorrow night! smile. i, like many,
don't do our research and study until the last
couple days. working until the very last minute.

for some reason,
i don't have a perfect record of being on time
to everything. 5, 10, 15 minutes late, and i twist a small
smile, and make a pitiful excuse if i bump into anyone, and
go on. my dear friend, tere, a hard taskmaster, believes it shows
no respect. especially if it is a church service. that God expects
better of us than this. i am coming around to believe she is right.
maybe it is something many of us can work on??

i've started getting dressed first thing in the morning.
completely pulled together and ready to go out the door in
case of any emergency or tight schedule, and then i work on
mail and bills and laundry and other things. you see, i could
just live in p.j.'s. the minute i walk into my house, every day,
even if it is just for 2 or 3 hours, i still strip and put something
sloppy and easy on. so this first-thing-in-the-morning, new
practice is quite a step forward for me.

well, i'm rambling. i want you to know that i haven't personally been
as involved in my facebook as i should be, but things are changing.
i want to know what is happening in each of your lives. see new pics.
connect more intimately with you. i tried to start last week, and facebook
refused to accept my password. what was that about?!!! got so discouraged,
and it became late, and a friend was picking me up to take me home
(someday, again, i know i will have my own car. someday. i just know!).
so this week, my longing to do this is going to be worked out so i can.
oh, i've read all your incredibly-touching words, just not responded one-on-one
for the most part. please pray. as you know, i not very technical.

have a beautiful week,
and always remember that Jesus is all the world to us!!


  1. I always enjoy reading your blog Ann. I guess I am like your taskmaster friend. I hate being late for anything and if someone is late meeting me, I think that I am just not that important to them. I am trying to be less rigid in this area and AGE has a way of taking care of that. I find myself looking for keys, grabbing my list of things to do etc and sometimes I run late.:) I used to have a list of things to do to keep me on task but now at 57 I need it to remember all that I have to do!! I wish you well in trying a new routine.

  2. You are in BSF? That is so encouraging. I just went for the first time last week. When I was a child a lady (who I went with last week) started going. I've heard about it for years. But, it never seemed like something for me. Well, now I am going. I'm nervous about the commitment of time and the people. But, I'm excited to meet new people and grow friendships.

    So, we'll see! I need to work on my sheets for Wed. morning.


  3. I am glad to be able to see again what is going on in your life. I started reading your books as a teenager (I'm now almost 51) when a summer youth minister introduced me to them. I have every one. My lover/husband framed cards that had quotes from your books on them (about 6. Due to our unfortunate situation they are in storage, but I did manage to grab one out the other day. It is inspiring and encouraging to me--even now--after all these years. Even w/no house, a husband on disability, my own health issues, nothing much to call our own, no job that we could actually do, I still believe it pays to follow Jesus. Thanks, Ann.

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  5. Thank you all for your precious words of encouragement!