Friday, October 19

what is something in your life that
you KNOW if people found out, they
wouldn't like you. i mean, you are sure
they wouldn't. in fact, all their respect
and love and admiration of you would disappear
in an instant?

do you know that the church we attend...the job place...
the fellow soccer moms...the guys that run together...the
board of some big organization we are on is FILLED with
people just like you. hiding their failures. hoping no one
will ever find out about the two abortions. or the cigarettes
we smoke behind the house.

i knew an incredible doctor that would pull on his big,
letterman's jacket, during every lunch break, in the steaming
heat of noontime, and smoke in his mother's back yard not
far away his office. trying to protect his clothes from the odor.
with some breath mints, he would drive back to the office as if
he had gone for a quick lunch. believing that none of his patients
would know that he was a smoker.

"whiter than snow...yes, whiter than snow...
now wash me and i will be whiter than snow..."

don't be afraid to speak your darkness to someone else.
because they have their own that needs to be aired.
we are broken children of God, and deliverance comes
when we begin to let go of what everyone is going to think
of us.

thank you all for congratulating me on my new car.
thank you for such love. i treasure you all. the car
should be here the first of next week. wow! happy


  1. I don't think undergoing an abortion and smoking are on the same level, and I wouldn't judge someone for either. As a former smoker, I know how hard it is to quit. It wasn't so long ago that smoking was socially acceptable. Now anyone who smokes is an instant pariah. Yes, it is damaging to one's health, but so is drinking too much and overeating. If my doctor smoked, I would consider it none of my business.

  2. I am so happy to hear you say that you are happy!!!!! I so love to read what you write each day. Thank you. Have a wonderful weekend. Love and prayers.