Tuesday, October 8

i remember, years ago, when i
was addicted to pain pills,
there were so many things
that i missed.

how clean and vibrant
the sky was. how great it
felt to feel the earth between
my toes on warm days...to look
everyone straight in the
eyes, with no guilt and shame.
no double standards. and...
that sweet taste of freedom.

it's all of this,
and more...that has made
the last seven months so
foreboding and terrifying. i
have had to take medication
to walk because none of the
bones would fuse on the bottom
of my left foot.

and i've known i would have
to detox off these pain pills.
where? how would i cover
expenses? finally, i returned
home from the hospital last
week with one leg in a cast.

"do NOT allow leg to even touch
the ground for six weeks!"

everything had depended
on Jesus. what a hard, glorious
adventure this has been. if you
are fighting an addiction...a large
piece of cloth that has wrapped
itself around your neck...and
subtly, obscurely begun to imprison
you...and squeeze the air of
freedom and deliverance right
out of you, then i ask you to take
my hands.  step up to the altar
of God who promises to remove
the self-loathing paths of our
brokenness.  and seek with me,
that the Lord...the Power greater
than ourselves...will lead us to
the peace and sun again.

i'm watching for you.
i'm watching and waiting.
"His truth is marching on."

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