a week from today is
last night was celebrate recovery,
and i bumped
into one of my favorites there
who i hadn't seen in a long time.
"mary, where have you been?"
"in a dark place. very dark....
for about six months."
some degenerative disease in
her neck. hasn't worked all this
time. her eyes not clearly focused
from medication. she was telling
another young mother diagnosed
with breast cancer. recovering
from a hysterectomy. six, young
no Christmas shopping yet; the
rent hasn't been completely paid,
and the husband is on the job at
6 a.m. every morning.
this morning, i received a text
from a great friend. i refused to
"ann, get happy again..and healthy
so you can go on our next trip
i felt terrible shame that you
all have had to share my year
of dark pain. have prayed and i
contemplated dropping the blog
not my best year.
but i've learned heaps of
compassion. with each one who
passes my way, i've studied their
eyes. often, a tear will, with no
invitation by me, slide down
one cheek. my passion for
broken people has become immense.
i understand it all
better. what Jesus feels. what
led Him to die for us.
jan, with worsening cancer.
physical pain and foot surgeries
that made my feet worse..by far...
i lost a beautiful friend my children and i adored.
i feel sad for all of us..
I wasn't stable enough to bring
someone new into my life.. i see all kinds of
things i should have done differently,
the magnificent Christmas carols.
the wonder of the shepherds and wisemen.
the birth of baby Jesus.
the Prince of Peace. the Redeemer
who not only delivers us from ourselves,
but all the brokenness that an evil world deposits
into our lives.
"how silently...how silently..the
wondrous Gift was given...our
feel the crisp, night air.
see the shepherds and wisemen
as they follow the Light. hear
the sweetest sounds on earth....
a newborn baby's whimper. the Christ-
child of the earth.