Monday, December 16

i took my friend, sarah,
to the worst, most dangerous
core of my city where her
husband is painting an old,
victorian, three-story house.
they have six children...and his
income from this job is for bills,
and the family's Christmas.

i really love this family.
both vehicles barely run.
money for gas is slim. she
just had a hysterectomy, and
been diagnosed with breast

"i hate Christmas, ann."
exhaustion and weariness
planted on his face. "i have
since i was a kid. wanting it
nice for the kids. but... all the pressure.
really wanting it to be over."

sarah and i had a can of gas
for his empty tank. undercover
police officers were driving
back and forth. ten p.m., and 
matt had started at six a.m.

i was attired in p.j. bottoms,
a nightgown, and long sweater.
compassion like rain and fog
covering my windows gripped me.
the Christmas season is so
difficult for most.

baby Jesus.
born to be our Savior.
ultimately, grown and stretched across
a splintered Cross. the Lamb
of God tiptoing into the world
by pushing out of mary's womb.
a tiny, newborn baby.

my children are scattered. God
has worked it out, by the most
generous person i know, for me
to be with three of my four children
in dallas. i'm longing for this time.
oh, i'm grateful to the Christ-child  
for my little family. how we
love each other. we may mess up
with many imperfections, but we
have each other's backs covered
at all times.

jan is so ill. will is in heaven.
and 2013 has been, hands down,
the most painful, life-shattering
year of my life. worst of all is
the sense that amidst the bends
and twists along the road, is the
jarring reality that i'm not even close
to being what i think Jesus expects
and needs me to be.

but my answer to Him
is YES! YES! YES!!!!!

"the blind see.
the lame walk.
lepers are cleansed.
the deaf hear. 
the dead are raised.
the wretched of the earth
learn that God is on their side."
matthew 11  the message

we are hand-joined.
quietly walking together
to celebrate this glorious event.
Jesus being born, the Only One
Who promises deliverance to
all who long and thirst for it.
i do.
long and thirst.

No comments:

Post a Comment