Monday, December 30

just to keep it straight, 
my hair was borderline
disaster. and i always want
to look my best with my children. ended up
being brushed out, and into a braid
at the nape of my neck. with a
thin, white-stretched head band.

i didn't even know what i
had brought to wear. so i wore
plain and some design tights.
and long tops, layered. and
started drooling in nordstrom
over a pair of uggs. last ones.
in violet/purple. the newest
color for 2014. the ones with
glitter. this may sound really
ghastly to you, but with my long,
lean body, i think it works.

to the sales man, i asked if he
could just hold....
"no! sorry to interrupt you, dear.
it's a policy of nordstrom's....."
blah. blah. i couldn't make such
a decision. $200. the children.

up walked taylor and colson.
"mom! do you like those? do you?"

my eyes began to shine.
to become luminous.
what was taylor hinting at?
he has a big, new job. videographer
at post-graduate naval school,
but he has all his college loans
to pay off, and....

"sir, i'd like to buy these for
my mother.."

colson was grinning. he had
to work all night, but he's in heaven
with all of us together. and i was
now speechless. at that moment, 
every light in this store
went out. complete blackness. 
just two or three minutes. 
but it just added to the glory and surprise
and excitement of one of my children doing this for me. 
i've only taken these uggs off to sleep.

then, i received perfume. and
brock bought me two, darling, long
sweaters (to go with tights).
sacrificial for my sons.
it blew the sun across my face
and made my bones shake with
delight i can't even articulate.

we each had an orange julius.
we held hands walking through
the mall tiers. just so grateful
that Jesus would make a way
for us. and it was just us,
no one else can ever really know
what we've lived through. i took
6-7 pictures. again, pictures...
anything except Jesus and His
grace....just got lost. forgotten.

there were two girlfriends in
the party, but the kids were
more focused on our family because we
were so hungry to simply absorb
our love for each other. my eyes
are wet with warm emotion, 

not perfection.
an aging mom with a sad, 
broken year under my belt.
and fine..such handsome...sons
with their own hurts and sorrows.
and over and over, so many
clerks behind counters that i
shared Jesus with. tears welling
up in eyes. their brokenness.
so obvious. confessionals
behind glass counters. happiness
has blossomed in my soul again.  

what i've lived through the
last twelve months has planted
a compassion so pure and deep
inside me, for others, that i have
a beautiful, new garden
blossoming. a fresh, sweet aroma.

your love and prayers have
done it. you carried me, prayed
and cried with me.. and utterly
embraced me. jan thanks you so,
too, for including her.
you assisted God in lifting her
off a sick bed to be with her husband and children
Christmas day.

"hallelujah! what a Savior!!"


  1. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

  2. Dear? I would have told that salesman that my name was not dear and then I would have left, minus the boots.

  3. I love all your books and admire how in love with Jesus you are :) but I also love how you're human, just like us. I can really relate with your writings and blogs and books...thank you :) I'm sure you look fabulous in your new uggs :D did you know Purple is the color for Royalty? Just like the way God sees us :D