Friday, January 25

12-step meeting.
almost didn't go, but my friend
got me there. special. special.
so much hurt and struggle and pain
and nine women who work all day,
with families, but still make it. we
are sisters. they've been reading my
books, and are full of love and vulnerability
and utterly dedicated to this journey we're on.

we are getting ready to dive into character defects.
i've got some major ones, so i forge ahead, praying
for God to give me the courage to be honest ....and
keep working my issues through. punishing my body
and spirit to remain strong and intact for the glorious
Redeemer who calls us to a hard, but magnificent Race.

taylor is home a few days.
he drives in. walks through the front door.
gives me the tightest hug, and everything
changes for both of us. we are together.
not alone. not trying to find our way in complete
solitude from one another.

"bless the Lord, oh, my soul...
oh, my soul. worship His holy Name...
sing like Heaven above. oh my soul.
worship His holy Name. worship His
holy Name." 10,000 reasons

then....
brandt returns from his 6 mos. deployment.
back to jasmine and colben and his brothers
and me. excited is hardly the word. how we've
missed him. someone is helping us so we can
all be together for a wk.end. to celebrate brandt...
and colson's 25th birthday..and taylor's graduation
from college. a little piece of Heaven along the way
to pump fresh hope into our veins, and call the love in
that has held us together as a family for so long.
through so much.

a comment came to me from one of you that stung
at first. hurt my feelings, until i really began to pray
and ask God to reveal her truth to me. she was speaking,
very lovingly, about the words we speak, and that they have
life. so when i write about my insecurities and the holes
i can fall in so easily, she suggested they might invoke
things that aren't healthy and good. that God covers us
with promises, and i should speak joy and promise and
blessing. it helped me. and she was right.

it is like, for me, a need to let you know the humanity
of my life. that it doesn't matter how many books we've
written or the millions that have read them, we are still
broken people. delivered by the clean, fresh, faithful
promises of God. picked up, again and again, because
we may lose patience with each other, but Jesus never
loses patience with us. pray for me. that i will speak
more Light into your lives. and into my own.

"sing like never before, oh, my God...
worship His holy Name. worship His holy
Name."

















8 comments:

  1. You've spoken heaven's luminosity into my life for decades, sweet Ann. Thank you, thank you.

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  2. So glad you are getting to enjoy a visit with your sons! Keep writing, Ann. You are loved!

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  3. I'm so grateful for your realness. Your words changed my life many years ago and I am still inspired by your walk. (10,000 Reasons was the song of the day in my house today!)

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  4. "until i really began to pray
    and ask God to reveal her truth to me (her refers to the woman who wrote the comment, not God).

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  5. Ann, as a young 19 year old, I devoured your books. I felt so encouraged and lifted up by your words and the faith that you lived out. This encouragement helped me to continue seeking after Christ. It helped me to desire the realness of a growing relationship with Him, that I couldn't fully comprehend and appreciate. Today still, I enjoy and am grateful for your transparency and your example. Please keep running the race and writing what God puts on your heart. I am touched.

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  6. Love your honest, raw heart for our Redeemer! Your writing inspires me...I am beginning to feel the desire to write again! Praying for you, Ann! I love your writing and your hunger for Lord! Peace to you!

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  7. Each day, I'm faced with my own humanity, insecurities and holes but try not to focus on them but focus on Abba and His redemption through Christ and the comfort of His Holy Spirit. When we get our eyes off Christ and on ourselves, no matter the reason, we've lost sight of eternity; not a road I want to travel.
    It's wonderful you're going to speak more of Christ's light and love; we know your brokenness because we have our own brokemness. In a sinful world, it's our brokenness we, first, have in common but it's Christ's blood that makes us family.

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