Saturday, January 19

at Christmas, a lady wrote and
wondered if i could send autograghed copies
of all my books for her daughter (she would pay) for
Christmas. it seemed overwhelming to me. i
don't even have all my books.

now, she is wondering about the books (even just
some of them) for a birthday gift? well, i just picked
up my phone and called her. what a beautiful surprise
awaited me. so much love and warmth and kindness
in her words. her sweet stories of how God had used
my writings in so many lives. it just seemed utterly amazing
to me. that Jesus can take something as simple as my
words and bless others! it is such a far-removed concept
to me.

especially today. this past week. even in the night.
i have not been proud of my walk with God. behind
on my blogging. having such a hard time in the mornings.
rebellious about all my unanswered mail. not talking enough
with Jesus. not being "still" or "silent" in His Presence except
in a great hurry.

i like the word "expunge".
get rid of. completely blot out.
wiped off the record. as if someone
who has a dui has it obliterated, and never
has to pay higher car insurance or feel a pinch
of shame. as if i never fell into all the holes
along this long journey in my life. impatient
with God. deciding to help Him out. to hurry the
process of whatever it was that i longed for.
when Jesus comes by, and we cry out to Him,
He just expunges all the ugliness that has
broken us.

well,
my new friend on the phone,
used words that just instantly expunged
all the things i've been beating myself up over.
the sky cleared. i felt the warm sun on my neck
and across my face. the trees began to dance, and
i realized that if Jesus can raise beauty out of my
utterly-inadequate writings, then He can use all of us
in our greatest weaknesses.

may the shadows in your life
be expunged today. laugh out-loud.
smile at the lady in the same check-out line
at the grocery store. give another driver grace
when he or she swerves alittle over the line in a
lost second.

and know i love you today.
you all bring me such joy. your
comments so touching. i confess i have
not been talking to ANYONE about my trip in
may to visit the travels of st. paul. too shy. but
please know HOW much i would love to spend
those days with you. it seems like ALOT of money,
but i've always told my children that money is never
an issue with God. He owns all the cattle on all the hills.
whether it is college or some kind of car for them to drive.
whatever. God can do ANYTHING!! cheer any broken heart.
lift the burdens. He is glorious!!

2 comments:

  1. Ann, I'm not too sure if you see these comments, so I feel just a little silly writing it, but I have to let you know how very much your words have impacted and touched lives so consistently over the years. For every one person you speak with about it, there are hoards of us out here who still enjoy the benefits of your words. God's marvelous blessings to you this day, sweet Ann!

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  2. Ann.......... when u feel it's time to make the call about the trip, pray and ask the Holy Spirit for the boldness to speak and to give you the words to say. He will. When i went to bible college i had to take public speaking and i was sooo scared. I had to do a five minute speech and so chose my favorite subject.. i had gone on a mission trip to Russia and the Ukraine. I prayed and i actually made it through the whole thing. God has not give us a spirit of fear,but, of love, power and a sound mind. Don't let the enemy blindside you. You have impacted so many lives and it's awesome. You are appreciated and valued! Thank you for being a part of my life....

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