Sunday, June 23

brock called.
"hi, mom.  just calling to see
how you are."

"well, darling, i have been
thanking God for my struggles.
you know. my feet especially.
i just know Jesus honors praise."

"mom, you know i've been in
training at bank of america.  i'm
now going to be a manager over
the managers. this job isn't challenging at all, mom."

"brock, i've been compelled to 
pray recently about your work.
honey, i want your life to count
for Jesus.  i want the world to be
better because you are in it."

"you are brilliant, brock.  there
is nothing you can't do...."

"i know, mom...but i keep this job 
because i have band practice at

brock has always felt called to
play in a band.  "mom, there
are so many mixed-up kids
that go to concerts."

i'm nodding my head on the
other end of the phone.  praying .

"mom, i get your thoughts.
it seems i'm not helping anyone.
this morning, coming out of
the grocery store, i saw a homeless
man, and handed him $40."

"that makes me so happy, brock.
a lady is here helping me clean.
she puts aside a little money
every week,  she told me,  just
to share it with broken people
she passes."

"yeah, that's what i try to do, too."

"her son gets upset because he
believes these people just go
and get alcohol and drugs...but
you know what she told him?"

"it's none of my business. i give
because there go I but for the
grace of God!!"

"brilliant, huh?!"

"well, honey, just keep talking
to Jesus about your future....."

"i will, mom.."

" aren't wearing those
earrings that stretch your earlobes
out, are you?"

he burst into laughter.
"no, mom.  i got my ears pierced,
but not for those.  but you know
i  am hoping to get a tattoo next
month if i can afford it.  
mom, i've been wanting
one since i was 19, and i am just
turning 28."

"i know, doll.  i've been preparing myself all these years
for this to happen.  you've waited  a long time."

i was entirely too afraid and
nervous  to ask if kristi, his girlfriend, had any new tattoos.
every time i see her, there are
additional ones.

colson has a new job.
his bike is fixed, and he callled
en route home one evening.
i could hear horns blasting.
colson said a few choice words
 to a couple drivers.
i just closed  my eyes and prayed.

it will take all of God's vast
mercy and grace...and all our
"crying-out" prayers to help our
children make it in this dark,
perverse world.

as parents who long for depth
in their children's spirituality...
as wayfarers sludging through
the mud of despair...
"get away with Me and you'll
recover your life.  I'll show you how to take a real rest.. 
walk with Me and work with how I do it. 
learn the unforced rhythms
of grace (a blog reader introduced me to .this passage).  
keep company with Me, and you'll
learn to live freely and lightly."
matthew 11:28-30

pray for me.
i'm getting addicted to gummy
bears. pure sugar!
i love you all!

1 comment:

  1. I so love and appreciate it when you are open and real. I've struggled with some of these issues myself. Our boys use words we'd prefer them not to use and yet Biblically speaking, the Bible says we are held accountable for all our words--and it doesn't say 'don't cuss' so it's a difficult battle. Our oldest son's fiance has tattoos, not a lot, but big ones and very noticeable (which I'm not a fan of) but she's sweet, caring and obviously loves our son (and he her). I'm sorry that you have to struggle with these issues, however, it's easier knowing we are not the only ones. Hugs and prayers.