Tuesday, June 11

when my children call,
we talk..and i listen..until
the atmosphere is such
that they are safe enough to
tell me what they really need
to talk about.

it brings back all the memories
of bedtime when they were very
small.  it was a ritual.  I would lie
next to each one in the darkness
of their bedrooms. hold a little
hand, and have them tell me
anything they wanted before they
fell asleep.

four little boys.
scrubbed clean from baths.
and they would tell me things
that had  never been spoken in
the glare of daylight.

"mommy, my friend laughed
at me today."

"honey, that sounds terrible.
it must have really hurt your

"it did. and he made fun of
my shoes, too."

Jesus is so safe to me.
oh, i can run to Him in my
darkness, and i know He loves
and embraces me.  i feel so
unworthy of such love, but
i don't let that stop me.  there
is nothing my children can
do to separate me from them,
and everything i know about
unconditional love, i've learned
from Jesus. He is the Author of it!!!

the picture of me posted a
couple days ago was snapped
by my friend at a bishop's house.
a brilliant, charming, anglican
bishop who had invited seven
of us to dinner.

over hor'deuves, he began to
tell stories of healings.   and
that Jesus never prayed for
people to be healed. He just
commanded it.

almost all of us needed
healing somewhere.  my
left foot, with ligament damage,
still makes it excruciating to
walk.  four months, and if i
walk on it for two hours, it
swells to distortion.  my skinny,
quick, runner's foot.  my right
foot has developed a lump of
bone at the base of my big toe.
pushing the toe inward like a
severe pigeon-toe.  tomorrow,
i must go back into surgery to
have it corrected.

i swallow two pain pills to get
up in the morning and just
walk to the bathroom.  it has
terrified me.  the doctor,  a top
ankle-foot specialist, made it
sound so uncomplicated.

sitting in front of the bishop,
head bowed, several priests,
and my friends' hands  on me, 
bishop schofield prayed...and
then commanded, in the Name
of Jesus, that my feet be whole.

nothing has happened yet,
but would you please be
praying?  i'm tough-spirited.
my feet have carried me
thousands and thousands of
miles.  my doctor always says
i have the strongest heartbeat.
it can only belong to a runner.

pain pills (by far not the strongest)
do not destroy my sobriety because
this is pain so wrenching that i
can't describe it.  it gives me chills
and makes my stomach hurt.

"as the deer panteth for the water,
so my soul longeth after Thee.
Thou alone art my heart's desire,
and i long  to worship Thee.

"You, alone, are my Strength
and Shield.  to You, alone, doth
my spirit yield.  You  alone are my
heart's desire...and i long to
worship You."

where, fellow warriors, do you
need healing?  where is your pain?
we are going to stand  together.
waiting for God's command,
"be healed!"


  1. I am praying for you Ann! I am still taking pain pills from the back surgery and fusion. I am running with you in spirit and we WILL make it through this because of JESUS AND WHAT HE DID FOR US ON THE CROSS~! There is a non christian song"called I'm still standing" so even though it's not a christian song i am claiming it for both you and i and your sister Jan! WE ARE STILL STANDING, THROUGH, ALL THE THINGS THAT PASS OUR WAY..........the enemy can try and knock us down,but, we're getting back up and gonna keep on standing..........love you much..............my prayers are starting right now.............................Do not be discouraged...be encouraged for the Lord our God is with you..........we face obstacles but HE just knocks them out of our way and we keep running the course......................Run Ann, Run...................