"isn't He wonderful,
isn't Jesus, our Lord,
Jesus is my passion.
my Song. my morning joy
and only Hope in the darkness.
but these have been hard,
rugged months, as you know.
my foot surgery in early february,
where i remain in critical pain.
opinions from multiple doctors.
scared. confused. more surgery?
the arduous task of detoxing off
pain medicine when correction is
and jan's cancer and near death.
my four sons who make my heart
ache with joy and longing...
and pride and concern. an endearment that courses
through me. that they might not
just know Jesus, but be sold
out to Him. that God can count on
them to carry His Redemption
wherever they go.
without all your prayers
and love and compassion...
your comments that have
swept me away from the cliffs
of utter despair...without you,
i can't imagine surviving.
trying to blog in this state
of mind has been, for the most
part, agony. you deserve messages
of hope. of broken people
being loved. of a mother who
knows how to parent better.
more Scripture of God's unwavering
faithfulness. you are warriors,
in the midst of battle, and you
need to be fed solid Food...and
inspired. i fall so short!
i've been working with..and loving..
a young mother of six.
i was praying with her over the phone
tonight, at a most critical,
desperate moment. we had to
have a miracle when her husband
suddenly pulled into the driveway.
another mother with five,
all five years and under, asked
if i would help with the children
at the doctor's office. but
she forgot to tell me the office
number or name of doctor. a
huge medical building.
i methodically went to every obgyn
"have you seen a woman with
five, small children?"
finally, the last office.
i came down to the name of
"yes, across the hall.
in 15 minutes."
i was waiting when
babies and toddlers
jan didn't die.
brandt got the firefighting job.
"mom, i want to know everything
going on in the family so we all
truly stand together," requested
my oldest. united, bonded sons.
if i just don't forget
that in my darkest hours....
when life feels too hard...to give
my life away, then joy will
gush into my wounds. that
pain is a gift. through it, I have
learned that you love me.
that you are some of God's
greatest gifts to me. superficiality
fades, and Jesus and i become
"our light affliction, which is but
for a moment, is working for us
a far more exceeding and eternal
weight of glory." 2 corinthians 4
Jesus our Lord, is wonderful.
and so are you!