Tuesday, April 10

colson, my third son, has done so many jobs that
i probably can't even remember.  he's BOLD.  confident.
i mean....on Christmas eve, a year ago, he sold two, 90 yr.old
ladies, each a kirby vacuum cleaner.  i think they go for $2500!
he was the no. one person to get through the door of people's houses
so his team could display the vacuums.

he started at mcdonald's as a high school freshman,
and in less than three months, he was the night manager,
the second top position there.  then, there was jack in the box,
a fast-food mexican place.  he sold magazines door-to-door.
cleaned for a big company that assisted farmers.  he took an
assignment of getting democrats to sign over to the republican party.
i sat in a car and watched him.  talk about a HARD job. but he got
it done!

but colson is fearless.  he can sell you on almost everything.  and...
if you dig deep, way down under all the layers of his life, you will
find the purest soul.  i mean open and quiet ..  brutally
honest with himself.  in all my years, bar none, i have never known
anyone as pure as colson in heart and spirit. 

he stopped by to spend the night.
he had spent the day helping a bee-keeper.
he had to be really hungry for that job!!

he was on one bed in my room, and i in the other.
"mom, can we watch t.v.?"
"no t.v.," i answered.
"well, what should we do?"
"well, we could talk  or pray. something like that."

"mom, i really disappointed God today. "
"did you, honey?"

the room was dark. tucked away from the noise of traffic,
and people.

"yes.. and in the end, hurt myself."
he told me what the problem had been.

"colson, the most beautiful thing about Jesus is that
He forgives us every single time.  He takes a contrite
heart, and in an instant, forgives the offense, no matter
how small or big it is.  and it is settled with the Lord for all time."
suddenly, i heard his heavy breathing. he was out for the night.
had taken care of business with His Maker.

of course, there was the day when i picked him up from school,
and he nonchalantly mentioned, "we're on pregnancy watch."
i nearly plowed into the car in front of me, and felt rage rising
in my throat.  who was "we"?" 
"and, son, where is your honor?"

fortunately, no babies on the way.
but that was a very hard day for me.

if when i die, and my ministry has been resurrected,
i want colson to run the business.  to see that the beautiful truth
that EVERYONE can change his or her world with God's love is possible
for everyone. 
colson is a brilliant writer, and purely Christian.  and he makes
the Lord His confidence even when he fails or has done wrong.  he
knows...always..where to run to in trouble.

he crashes the darkness of night
and carries the joy of every sunrise
on his genuinely-radiant face.

more on colson tomorrow!


  1. Oh! I have a son, Hayden, who is so much like you have described Colson! He is 16. Born at home in a pool of water. I dressed him in smocked bubbles and nursed him way past culturally accepted norms. I thought our darling little (big) family was immune to the kind of heartbreak "other" people have. Hayden broke our hearts on more than one occasion. He also got hooked on that horrible WOW game. However, I think/know that some of his issues are because he feels things more deeply than regular people. Can you even believe how much you love your kids? It's nothing short of crazy.