that word "REMORSE" keeps coming to me.
it is more than 'i'm sorry'...not even close to
"well, i failed again'. seven letters put together
that sort of punch you in the stomach. make your
legs shake. beef up your heart rate. takes us to our
knees in the reality that we have failed God or another.
a disbelief that we are capable of humanly crafting
something that is going to do great harm to another,
or to a redemptive cause. the deep, aching regret
that we cannot change what we've done. can't dress it
up and color it like a rainbow and flick it aside and just
sigh and go on with life.
uh-uh. no way. not possible.
remorse can only transform us and heal us
and be redeemable if we fall on our faces and
confess to the only One, Jesus. who knows ALL
the pieces. the hidden lies. the unseen ugliness.
the well-kept secrets that we'd almost rather die
than confess to another human being.
remorse can kill or transform us.
it all depends on what we do with it.
the Bible says we must confess to Jesus, and
then, to another. that is where the crunch comes.
it may take months or even years before we have the
courage to say it out-loud to another. but i know
about courage. it is a gift from God. it is not something
we have to pull out of our inner core. this was one of
the most amazing things i've learned in my Christian walk.
my father-in-law, dr. henry brandt, taught this to me.
remorse over an abortion/s? a closet alcoholic? em-
bezzeling someone's money? wound the tender hearts of
our children in a very damaging way? i think remorse
covers everything dirty and nasty and wrong, and we are
desperate for the Savior. the Blood. for forgiveness from
Jesus and others and yes, even for ourselves. this is often
the hardest part of all.
there is some remorse that isn't intentionally commited.
an earnest mother who forgets something in the house,
and leaves the children in the car for just a second, but
something terrible happens. and she can't fix it.
i am so glad we have a Savior.
i can usually forgive anyone of almost anything
because i've messed up enough myself that i have
no business being critical of another. if you are living
with remorse, just remember that God can work GOOD out
of ANYTHING. beauty out of ashes. blessings unimaginable.
a time comes when we have to dust ourselves off. wrap
the comfort of the Lord around our shoulders, and move on,
truly believing that there is hope and deliverance for us all.