Saturday, July 21

do you know what it is to get lost?!
really, really, really lost? well, i'm a
pro at this nightmare. three lanes to
cross. all the streets one way. traffic
and people and horns honking until
i almost lost all sense of kindness. i
wanted to pull to the curb. get out.
and take a hammer and start hitting

jan had led me from the capitol where
they live to this place 20-30 blocks away.
we got there! a real miracle. and then.
THEN, it was our job to get back to 800J
where tom and jan's loft is.

we went one way. miles from anywhere.
and then we turned a few times. and from
dead ends to being so far out of the city
(downtown) that i could only see miles of
little shopping areas and grass and kaiser
permanente. and on and on and on.
we'd pull over and ask someone to help
us, but we didn't have a pen, and each
direction guru led us farther into the deep
forests of outer sacramento.

my little pump light was now on. almost
zip gas. jan called tom to help us, and he
couldn't even imagine where we were. finally,
i decided to pull into this gas station. an obviously
bad part of town. jan gave me a credit card that i
thought was a debit card. didn't know the pin.
had to go out and get jan.(in terrible back pain).
"honey, can your put your pin # in?" she thought i
was giving up top secrets and someone was going
to steal all their money. she started typing all these
numbers, and i touched her arm. "honey, your PIN #".
she was punching in their phone number.

i started pumping in the $20 of gas, and was waiting
for the indian man (extremely patient) to give me directions....
please we could FINALLY find our way home.
he handed me his gps. of no help because it was ..."go east
on del rios...then west on...." i NEVER learned how to
figure out east vs. west or north. i bought jan some strawberry
licorice, and we just walked out. hopeless. suddenly,
as i was getting back into the car, completely flat-lined, i
saw a lovely black woman beginning to gas up. keeping
my incredible anxiety buttoned tightly behind my belly button,
i walked over. put my hands on this lady's shoulder. and.....

"ma'am, could you possibly explain how i can get back into
the city?" hmmmmm. she said, " i want to send you on a way
where you won't get lost." like she knew our infirmity. she gave
me very clear directions, and i looked deep into her eyes.
"my sister is ill, and we've been lost for over an hour. even
if you don't usually pray, would you please pray we get there?"
she asked my name. hers was patricia. "i pray it in the name of
Jesus!" we were in front of 800J within five minutes.

God often goes to great effort to remind us that all we need
is HIM. that He always has a plan. and always gets us to
the right places. wave the flags. smile wide. touch the little
boy at the market, and speak something beautiful to him. tell
his mother she must be very proud. keep it together as best
you can. calm and quiet even though you are screaming and
kicking inside. i'm way too noisy until i sometimes can hardly
hear His voice.

happy travelling through life this week. look for the angels.
i learned that yesterday.

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