Thursday, July 26

have you ever sat on your bed
and pondered all the things that are bothering you?
i do. and always to my demise.

last night, i was studying my feet.
when did my toes become so ugly?
i know i've run thousands of miles on them,
and broken several of the toes, twice, but
they are embarrassing. i definitely need
new running shoes. mine are 10 years old,
and one of my feet turns in as if it needs an
orthodic. or even surgery. it would help if
they were painted, but i'm wearing socks around
the house so i don't have to look at them.

and then, my skin. my face is the only skin
on my body that is clear and moist and pink.
the rest of my body has damaged skin from the
sun. i was born longing to have brown skin.
and all the vacations in the sun and the tanning
beds (i had to do this in secret because will would
get so upset) have now taken their toll. dry and
rough and discolored. of course,

i've been craving sweets, and i can tell
i've gained a few pounds. if i had my way,
i'd eat half a pie every other day. or some cobbler.
my mother taught us that sweets were very important.
and every meal, even breakfast, we had something
sweet. none of us ever had weight issues, and i
can never remember the word "diet" being mentioned...
ever..around our tables. last night i was studying my
body standing side-ways in the mirror. i need to
start doing some sit-ups.

by the time i was done evaluating myself, and
trying to shove the panic of all my imperfections
down deeper under my skin, i was in tears. i
pulled my hair back in a ponytail. soaked my
face with very good cream i sacrifice to have,
and i crawled into bed. lights out and tears wet
on my cheeks.

i love that little chorus (author unknown):
"so...forget about yourself, and concentrate on Him,
and worship Him...just forget about yourself, and concentrate
on Him.....and worship Him. Jesus Christ, the Lord..."

look for something beautiful
to say to someone. it will make
all the harder things in their lives
seem so much easier to face.


  1. And you are amazingly beautiful, Ann. Created in His own image, lovely enough to walk in His own Name. Thank you for your great honesty, always.

  2. Oh aren't you glad Jesus loves us no matter how we look? I have to remind myself of this after my cancer surgery. I have loved your books for years, and now I look foward to your blog every day. Feels like I found a long lost friend. Praying for you daily in North Carolina.

  3. Thank you for your honesty. I find myself looking at my 55year old self and being thankful that my eye sight is not as good as it used to be when I look in the mirror. I appreciate your God-given insight!

  4. Thanks for letting us know that you're human! I go through this all of the time and wonder why i'm so short,etc. and then i have to just let go and say"well, you made me in your image so therefore i must look good to you Lord"... Have a good night Ann and remember, we all love you and your inperfections because GOD made you... Ann Kiemel Anderson :)