from the time the children were babies to two's and older,
buying fireworks was a BIG deal at our house. will took
us all to different stands along the streets. alot of them
were selling for different churches. will and the boys
would get the lowest price if he could, and four, little
boys were jumping up and down with excitement.
the babies were clapping and giggling, and weren't
sure about all the euphoria that was buzzing all around
them. no matter. it must be a BIG event!
almost before darknes fell, will had found us a perfect,
private place safe and able to give ourselves our own
secret performance. then, every child had to pick
up all the mess, and leave the place as we had found
it. but what mattered?!! we were all still euphoric
even in the cleaning up.
one of will's greatest gifts was knowing how
to give us a good time in the 'elements'. it
was one thing i fell in love with. camping?!!!
that was the worst. just knowing that there was
no bathroom close made me need to pee every
30 minutes. one time, i was pregnant. so, even
more so. we did target shooting. climbed down
reeds and tripped through dirt and rocks, to fly
fishing. we didn't always have great success,
but we had fun.
enjoy life as you have it.
know that every breath is a gift.
if we knew the "bus" was coming to get
us for Heaven, how would we change our spirits
to those that least mattered to us? what would
happen to those we least cared about? would be
keep holding onto the bitterness we carry for
time chases us and we can barely
keep distance to move far enough ahead before
we are caught with the world we are seeking to
keep making better.
no matter what i have left time-wise,
i just want it to be for Jesus and those broken
around me. i want my business in order for
the boys. and i surely want my children to have something
left of me that they can hold on to. that will take a miracle
where i am now. four children and a mother all working
for food to eat and miracles to hold onto, in our minds, for
the rest of time.
do you have dreams? are you on your tip-toes waiting
to see them happen? do you REALLY believe that God
is big enough to do all this? really?? then.....
fly toward the stars. grab someone's hand. hold on
to all the love and passion you have for Jesus. i have always
said i didn't want to live to be 80. shrivelled and wrinkled.
but i've been calculating, and i think i need those extra years,
whatever state i'm in, to work somthing out for the chldren.
i may get old and wrinkled, but i'm heading to the beautiful
Jerusalem. and time is of the essense. and lost lives to
be won. so run the Race! keep at it. God tells us to.