Friday, August 2

i have decided
to kick my tired shoes
of mourning from my feet.
they are impeding my joy.
and i forget how blessed i
am.    

i have decided that jan
is tough, and her collapsed
lung and pneumonia keep
making her stronger!

my feet?
that have carried me
thousands of miles.
winning marathons and
qualifying for boston marathons?
it's broken my heart, and i am
terrified of a fourth surgery, but
Jesus promises to see us through
every trial and seeming impossible
hole thrown in our paths.

taylor called.
"mom, i want us to face everything
that hits our family.  to stand
together through it all."

brock and colson and brandt
call almost daily. we work
out our issues, and never finish
a call without 'i love you."

your prayers have melted our
hearts.  i read them via phone
to jan, and we weep..

i have never cried
or been so hopeless and terrified
as the last several weeks. 
depression has taken on, for me,
new.meaning.and compassion for 
those who live with it constantly.

"ponder the rock from
which you were cut.
think of the One solitary man...

"wake up..wake up....
I am the One comforting you
I am God. your very own God ."

your love and prayers for us
have held us together. we've
cried out and not felt isolated.  and
somehow, i find myself crying.
our sorrows and burdens are
shared. yours and mine.

dance.  sing.  grab my hand .....
and feel the magnificent Savior
of the universe. and 
when the rolls of swirling darkness
force us to roll in our sorrow and
agony, Jesus will be there.  and
i will be.  just as you will be
standing by with open arms for us.

how profoundly i love you all.

4 comments:

  1. Praying for you Ann! So thankful that Jan is stronger! I appreciate the love you have for each other in your family. Keep looking to the Author and Finisher of our Faith.

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  2. I remember that loving the word impossible allows us to see the deep and faithful love of God as He works in our lives. Love when you allow the light of Christ to shine in all the dark places...His love is unspeakably strong and so tender! Hold fast to your family and keep loving one another! Love you so.

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  3. ann... God has used every second of every minute of your life. I am praying. I do pray for your family and health... but also for the Wisdom that has been shared from your sweet heart... directly from God. There is something else HE has to share. ann be encouraged. we are praying. let us know how HE used this trial for HIS GLORY. Much love...

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  4. You and Jan are loved as well--not only by Abba but by many of us who have shared trials and joys with you through your books and blogs. I continue to lift you and Jan (as well as your families) up to Abba.

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