Friday, August 31

i have a very bossy friend.
and the problem is, she's very smart.
she never forgets anything, and watches
me as i stumble along in life. i mean, she
has something to say about the way i keep
track of my finances. about my addiction past.
the way i wear my hair. or all the little things i
need to work on. i have learned to be very
still and quiet. to listen, and keep saying,

"i'm sorry. i'm so sorry.
well, will you forgive me?"

"yes, i know i should have handled that situation
better. i fell short that day, for sure."

it is one of the most painful relationships i've ever
had and one of the very best. i can never measure up. never
high enough. her mission is perfection, i think. yet, how
many people who love us really tell us the whole truth as
they see it?

i feel as if i am in the military, and she owns me.
and it is taking all the patience she has to put up
with me. and when i miss something, i have to
figuratively be punished. you know, 100 push-ups
or two miles around the track.

i'm not sure how long this schooling is going to last,
but obviously, God put her in my path to try and shape me.
i truly love her, and she loves me. i am just realizing what
a great disappointment i've probably been to so many people.
my brain moves too fast,and i'm always switching from one
subject to another. i have a few gifts, but in most things, i am
genuinely, mentally challenged. probably it is this way for
all of us. we are each given a couple great strengths, and
the rest requires humility and hard work to cope with.

my friend and i are on opposite ends of a continuum.
i mean, completely different. yet i know she is helping God.
the way He desires me to be. and i am trying
to hang on to the love pieces so the judging won't hurt so much.

if you, too, have a friend like mine,
decide to be thankful. to try and embrace the truth,
and let the other stuff fall away. husbands and wives have
some of this grief, i know, but i think it is easier to hear the truth
from a good friend. marriage has enough struggles of its own.

well, i just want you to know i am
doing my best to be a better person every day.
and when i slip, there is always someoone right there,
besides God, who lets me know. smile. sigh. let's just
keep running this glorious Race, willing for God to bring
into our lives whatever He sees we need.


  1. As iron sharpens iron...what a loving friend you are to her, Ann.

  2. I have a friend like yours. As well as being bossy, she is a bit hyperactive. Her name is My Conscience.

  3. It is always humbling to have your faults pointed out and not many of us enjoy it, but self examination is something that is really lacking in most Christians lives today. I am learning that not all criticism is bad for you!! Thanks for the reminder today!

  4. Actually I get a big red flag on this. No one needs to say I'm sorry that often. on overbearing and domineering friend is not always a friend. She needs to lighten up on you. I think you are a treasure the way you ARE!!! Spend less time with her Ann. No one needs to be beat up often.

  5. Ann, I pray that this friend also tells you of the gifts that you have and the gift you are to her. If not - then what kind of well rounded friend would always be criticizing and demanding perfection.

    Jesus never demands perfection of us. He offers love and acceptance, forgiveness when we mess up and a warmth when reprimanding us. A true friend - one who follows Him - does the same.

    I felt sad reading this post. I felt sad that you have put this friend in such a place of identifying you. If what she ever says matches up with what Jesus says of you - then accept it as a means He is using. If not, then softly tell her that she best work on her own log in the eye! THAT is Scriptural.

    What does your support group say about such a friend - isn't this also bordering on being co-dependent, Ann? I say that out of concern for your well being. Keep the friend but work on boundaries where you are equal in being yoked in your friendship.

    Caring hugs - Lynn

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  7. I too am a recovering addict (pills) as well as a recovering food addict. I am careful with whom I surround myself with. My mother was always very accusatory and she still is so I limit my time with her. What happens at times is people in our lives can become "the accusor." We too when we are pointing out others faults can become "the accusor." So please limit your time with her and remember the only person to whom to owe apology to is not her but the Lord. Our walk is one of repentance, but not to others as they point out our faults.

    be encouraged my dear sister in the Lord!

    Blessings, Sheila in WI