i have a very bossy friend.
and the problem is, she's very smart.
she never forgets anything, and watches
me as i stumble along in life. i mean, she
has something to say about the way i keep
track of my finances. about my addiction past.
the way i wear my hair. or all the little things i
need to work on. i have learned to be very
still and quiet. to listen, and keep saying,
"i'm sorry. i'm so sorry.
well, will you forgive me?"
"yes, i know i should have handled that situation
better. i fell short that day, for sure."
it is one of the most painful relationships i've ever
had and one of the very best. i can never measure up. never
high enough. her mission is perfection, i think. yet, how
many people who love us really tell us the whole truth as
they see it?
i feel as if i am in the military, and she owns me.
and it is taking all the patience she has to put up
with me. and when i miss something, i have to
figuratively be punished. you know, 100 push-ups
or two miles around the track.
i'm not sure how long this schooling is going to last,
but obviously, God put her in my path to try and shape me.
i truly love her, and she loves me. i am just realizing what
a great disappointment i've probably been to so many people.
my brain moves too fast,and i'm always switching from one
subject to another. i have a few gifts, but in most things, i am
genuinely, mentally challenged. probably it is this way for
all of us. we are each given a couple great strengths, and
the rest requires humility and hard work to cope with.
my friend and i are on opposite ends of a continuum.
i mean, completely different. yet i know she is helping God.
the way He desires me to be. and i am trying
to hang on to the love pieces so the judging won't hurt so much.
if you, too, have a friend like mine,
decide to be thankful. to try and embrace the truth,
and let the other stuff fall away. husbands and wives have
some of this grief, i know, but i think it is easier to hear the truth
from a good friend. marriage has enough struggles of its own.
well, i just want you to know i am
doing my best to be a better person every day.
and when i slip, there is always someoone right there,
besides God, who lets me know. smile. sigh. let's just
keep running this glorious Race, willing for God to bring
into our lives whatever He sees we need.