Monday, June 25

cont. of blog...
i began to stumble around.
lost my bearings in the heat!
began to pray.  to look for a house.
there were at least 7 houses on the
what was wrong with will?
didn't he remember i had no liquid to
drink. not a nibble of shade anywhere for
miles.  and then, in the far distance, i
thought i saw a house.  wasn't sure. so
far away.  hoped it wasn't in my imagination
and desperation.
but the horizon focused more and more on
something ahead of me.  a log cabin!!  i ran,
half sobbing.  half delirius.  pounding on the
door.  praying...pleading that someone was
a very nice latino woman opened the door.
i told her i was will's (her husband's boss) wife.
was there any way she could try to get ahold
of him?  she brought me a glass of water, and
suddenly, i saw will riding up in that haywire
pick-up.  laughing.
"hi, honey......did you have a good run?"
"you mean the two-plus hours out in the fields
where you were going to come get me in 45 min.
to an hour?"
he thought it was all in great fun. the reality
was .... he got busy checking on all his crews,
and 'shooting the breeze', and just put me out of
his mind.  it was a dangerous thing to do re: the
elements and no water, but once again, he got me
to laugh.  to think it was an adventure.  i just silently
vowed to never go along with this idea again, and life
went on.
for many years, this kind of thing was just life for
the children and me.  always off-balance.  never sure
what the next offense would be.  i can tell you that we
struggled for years.  where will failed, i did, in another way.
a sick, co-dependant, i just couldn't stand up for myself.
and i was losing pregnancies.  getting abdominal infections.
taking pain pills.  something i had NEVER done in my
but, in the end. all of us broken and hurting,
will and i were faithful to our vows before God in
our marriage, and before will died...the last five days...we
were touched by God.  will finally saw himself.  genuinely
asked forgiveness for all the years, and held the boys' hands,
and talked to them in a way he never had before.  yes, i
truly believe he deeply loved us, but everything was lost
in the translation because it was somehow missing.
maybe between him and his father.
God has a powerful way of reaping joy out of
sorrow, and promise out of seeming  hopelessness.
neither will or i were really ready to marry each other.
but all the wrong turns and twisting bends in the road
were redeemed.  something the Lord is a pro at.
maybe your stories didn't turn out like ours.  maybe
your marriage didn't make it.  it's okay.  Jesus mercifully
covers us all, and works good in EVERYTHING if we
let Him.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, amazing! Your story so touched me! Thanks again Ann for being "REAL"! Have a Blessed week! Love you!