in one room,
in any restaurant,
there are broken people.
in EVERY room,
ANYWHERE, there are
cast your eyes around. everyone
looks normal. there is laughter.
giggles. but the most troubled have
learned the best way to pull the masks on.
gulp down the fear. and the transition
is smooth. subtle. quiet.
i have truly fallen into some really deep holes.
i, number one best-seller of inspirational books,
found a man that actually began to think he liked me.
it was a university where i was dean of women,
and i threw out the idea that any keen man would
like me. and besides, he was much older. smart in
how to win a 27yr. old's heart. BUT, he was MARRIED.
he was suave and brilliant, and snatched me
right from the gathered robe of Jesus that was so
but i was so scared. i wanted to be God's. i didn't
believe in crazy foundations. no, Jesus was solid.
truth is truth. and this 40 yr. old man took my virginity
away. spoke in a way that made me crazy. where i lost
my way. 27 yrs. old in a hole i saw no way out of.
i would speak to maybe 10,000, and as soon as i
got to my hotel room, i would instantly fall on my face.
forget what had happened there. i would sob
and finally crawl up on the bed. broken and hopeless.
(more in next blog)