my friend says there is a bus in Heaven
getting ready to come and take us there.
and there is a bus here, on earth, preparing
to take the overflow.
i had my 12-step meeting tonight. one year
with eight other women. digging as deeply as we
can. unveiling things so hidden inside us...
so God can reach down and place His hands
on all our wounds, and make us well.
i'm standing in line. waiting for the bus.
and i'm piling things on the table with my 8
partners. refusing to be too afraid of what any
of them think that i hold back. the bus is coming,
and my heart is pumping hard and fast. Heaven
is my Home, and i want to be ready.
today, looking tacky in sweat pants and shirt,
i headed for the gym. melting heat outside.
wondering what it would be inside with alot of
other sweating bodies. i climbed on the eliptical.
my usual. bowed head. earnest prayer.
"i'm listening, Jesus. speak to me as i run.
keep your Hand on my shoulder. it's been
hard, Jesus. really hard. please help jan.
she is everything to me. everything!!!"
and i slowly start to pump. then i pick it up.
the rhythm building. suddenly, i'm working the
machine so hard that it begins to rumble. i don't
lift my eyes to see what others are thinking. i'm
running for my Partner. for peace in my soul.
it was so fast and hard that i couldn't do more than
four miles. peanuts to me. but not today.
why do i love Jesus so? why?
because...."a bruised reed He will not break...
and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out." isaiah 42
He won't break me if i am weak and bruised and
a little mixed up and lost. huh-hu. Jesus is ALL about
love and compassion and walking the agonizing road
to the Cross. He paid the price. He endured. He sang
a song of deliverance and wept "great drops of blood".
make it to the bus.