Wednesday, September 5

being a mother is the most wonderful
and amazing gift, next to the Lord, that
i've ever been given. i can still trace in
my mind all the little pieces of each of
my children's babyhood and growing-
up years. the laughter. the tears. the
books read. the baths. the bike rides.
putting all four in a grocery cart, and
stuffing groceries between all the little
arms and legs.

every season of my children's lives
have carried special joys. school.
sports. girls. friends congregating
at our place. all the nights i would sit
on the edges of their beds, or lie next
to them, and listen in the dark to all the
deepest thoughts of their hearts. their
thoughts pooled in deep places that
could only be reached in the dark after
long, noisy days.

we've had hard times, too.
i didn't have very many absolutes, but
a few that weren't always popular. colson
could not compute that you go to school
all day and come home with homework.
i learned that "d's" were becoming my
favorite letter in the alphabet. at least,
it meant passing. i knew how bright colson
was. he had been tested to be very smart.
maybe i was wrong, but top grades were not
at the top of my list for him. he was always
anxious and fearful, and i sought to help
him feel safe and protected.

today, i realize the greatest mission in my
life is to make sure my children really know the
Lord, and make it to Heaven. i believe they have
each accepted Jesus. that they love Him and trust Him.
but they are young. making such life-altering decisions.
i long that they lean hard on God. that they really
seek Him. the judgemental of the church have hurt
them. it is so important for them to grasp genuine
forgiveness and acceptance of others.

everything pales
compared to my mission
to pray for and love and listen to
the hearts of my children. it is NOT
the most important thing that they get ph.d's,
and drive fancy cars, and impress the world. it's
their hearts. where all the battles of life are
fought. all the victories and losses. and how
they allow Jesus to guide them through this narrow,
winding road where warriors are required, and love
must be born. until my last breath, my heart will be
crying out for my children's souls and spiritual journeys.


  1. Thanks for sharing Ann....I have a child who is away from the Lord right now and it breaks my heart. We can only guide them so far then they have to make their own decisions. It has taken me many years to accept this and not beat myself up over it!! God knows that my heart motive was to raise children who know, love, obey and exalt Christ. I have to trust HIM with my prodigal.

    1. yes! you did your best with your son.
      and Jesus promises great hope for prodigals. just pray until
      your last breath, and know God answers. i love you, and don't know where my children might wander, either. ann

  2. I totally agree. First love God. After that, there isn't any ministry more vital than loving our family. Then everyone else!

  3. it wakes me a fulltime employed mom and most of the time i wasnt at home.....i dont have enough time to be with im planning to resign and praying for my own business so that i can handle my time at the same time i have an income of my own...with that, i can be with them anytime....sis ann thank you for the really touched me...

    1. dearest marnelli rose....i love you. so touched by your words. a full-timed employed mom. how i love you for all you do to help your family. i pray with you that your own business works out. never give up. ann

  4. My 26 year old son has a drinking problem and i believe sometimes he takes prescription pills just to get high. he lives in NY and i live in NV..I haven't seen in almost 7 years and it's tearing me apart inside. Please pray for Josh. He accepted the Lord and went to church but when he hit 18 he changed.. I miss him so much and so does his 13 year old brother who doesn't understand why he never calls him or just writes on facebook to him once in awhile. (the little ones name is Stephen).. Yes, Love is so important to teach a child, thanks Ann i appreciate and love you!

    1. oh, kate, what a heartbreak!! remember, Jesus has far more love for josh than even you do. and He specializes in prodigals. he
      has addiction issues, and will have to fall deep enough, but never lose hope. can you send him love notes? no questions. no judgements. just love. and maybe some care packages? i don't know, but pray and love which i am sure you are already doing. and may God comfort stephen's heart. may this very sorrow draw stephen closer and closer to the Lord and to you. i believe for you and love you. ann

  5. Beautiful Ann, your words and heart for your sons! I have 3 sons,and 2 have gone the Prodigal way- and so God has taught me much daily on my knees for them. But praise God one of them is now 110 days sober,attending 2 Celebrate Recovery(Christian 12 steps groups)and growing in the Lord. The other is showing great signs influenced by watching his little brother transform. It's been a 9 year journey off & on with the older- not a path I ever would have believed for my sons. I'm praying this morning for the prodigals listed here & for your sons Ann. God is FAITHFUL and He is Our Perfect Parent and our son's Perfect Parent, Shepherd, Guide and Protector. I pray Psalm 23 inserting my sons names daily and also Psalm 91, the Psalm of Protection-God's Word is Living. As Ann said, Pray til your last breath- God hears, His arms hold our children through the valleys, and He redeems the past and uses it to equip them for His glory. I'm reading many books about great Christian men who were prodigals. The most powerful book is "John Newton: From Disgrace to Amazing Grace" by Jonathan Aiken- unbelievable to read the detailed book of the inexplicable things this man did for decades until God captured his heart & he remembered his late mom's early teachings,embrace them and became a pastor and famous hymn writer ( Amazing Grace ).

    1. "oh, jody, you bless me in so many ways.
      your generous gift was such a HUGE boost...and your encouraging others to help. bless you. bless you. bless you. your words are powerful.

      i have all faith for your two, struggling sons. i attend celebrate recovery,
      and am in a one year, 12-step study right now. addiction is such a hard and difficult path to pull out of. something only Jesus can do....and a desperate heart that is willing. i love you, jody. ann