being a mother is the most wonderful
and amazing gift, next to the Lord, that
i've ever been given. i can still trace in
my mind all the little pieces of each of
my children's babyhood and growing-
up years. the laughter. the tears. the
books read. the baths. the bike rides.
putting all four in a grocery cart, and
stuffing groceries between all the little
arms and legs.
every season of my children's lives
have carried special joys. school.
sports. girls. friends congregating
at our place. all the nights i would sit
on the edges of their beds, or lie next
to them, and listen in the dark to all the
deepest thoughts of their hearts. their
thoughts pooled in deep places that
could only be reached in the dark after
long, noisy days.
we've had hard times, too.
i didn't have very many absolutes, but
a few that weren't always popular. colson
could not compute that you go to school
all day and come home with homework.
i learned that "d's" were becoming my
favorite letter in the alphabet. at least,
it meant passing. i knew how bright colson
was. he had been tested to be very smart.
maybe i was wrong, but top grades were not
at the top of my list for him. he was always
anxious and fearful, and i sought to help
him feel safe and protected.
today, i realize the greatest mission in my
life is to make sure my children really know the
Lord, and make it to Heaven. i believe they have
each accepted Jesus. that they love Him and trust Him.
but they are young. making such life-altering decisions.
i long that they lean hard on God. that they really
seek Him. the judgemental of the church have hurt
them. it is so important for them to grasp genuine
forgiveness and acceptance of others.
compared to my mission
to pray for and love and listen to
the hearts of my children. it is NOT
the most important thing that they get ph.d's,
and drive fancy cars, and impress the world. it's
their hearts. where all the battles of life are
fought. all the victories and losses. and how
they allow Jesus to guide them through this narrow,
winding road where warriors are required, and love
must be born. until my last breath, my heart will be
crying out for my children's souls and spiritual journeys.