do you ever watch TLC on t.v.?
especially the program "19 and counting"?
it entertains me. inspires me. and always
makes me feel just a little sad.
nineteen children who all love Jesus so much
and quote Scripture and express such contentment
and perfection that i have to keep myself from second-
guessing everything i've done as a mother. these
families have all these babies. home-school all of them.
usually grind their own wheat and make their own bread
and love Jesus and each other perfectly. they are always
smiling. the parents choose the children's wedding mates,
and no one kisses until they are at the altar, and they
all live happily ever after.
now i know life can't be this simple.
i have lived too long to believe that anyone
is perfect. everyone, if we live long enough, falls
into holes that God has to pull us out of along the way.
develops bad habits and thoughts and addictions
that Jesus has to deliver us from.
if moses and david and solomon and saint paul and
matthew, mark, luke and john needed Jesus because
of their moments of waywardness, then we all do , too.
i know some of these beautiful, home-schooling, big families.
they are beautiful. absolutely flawless in what i see. but
just remember that God loves all of us. and some of our
families weren't meant or called to be just like this.
that Jesus needs all our stories and all our failures and
struggles to help this big, lost, lonely, dark world see the
real heart of God.
perfection vs. wholeness.
my children and i are never going to be perfect,
but my prayer for the five of us and all the rest of
you warriors out there is that the Lord will take our
missteps and broken pieces and wrap the beautiful
yearnings and love in our lives all together and make
us whole. to help us each build our own choir.
write our own music. and with the glorious love of God,
sing our own music and be a part of changing the world, too.
Jesus reminds us not to compare ourselves to each other.
somehow, may we all keep remembering how unique and
needed we each are. that everyone has battles even if no
one can see them.